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Let us remember the purpose of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Gerard van Honthorst Adoration of the Shepherd...

Image via Wikipedia

It’s fun to give and get gifts as part of the celebration, but not at the expense of going into debt to do so.

We can  find ways to give the gift of ourselves to others by helping them in some specific way, meaningful to them.  Help someone in need, someone you don’t even know.

The most important part of celebrating Christmas, is by simply sharing a special time and a meal with friends and family.

Don’t get me wrong, I love giving gifts, when I can, even some small meaningful item.  For parents it is hard when they can’t afford to give gifts to their children.  I remember a time when me and my brother were young and our parents explained that we would only get one gift that Christmas because money was tight.  I don’t recall us being upset at all, we understood.

This is my early Christmas message to each and every one of you~

I wish for all of you throughout this special time…wisdom, peace, joy, caring, kindness, love for all, and safety.  I wish you many blessings this Christmas, and Hanukkah to my Jewish friends, and throughout the New Year.

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I really needed this wisdom today.  Actually, I need it everyday.  Thank you Leo Babauta 🙂

How Not to Do It All

BY LEO BABAUTA

We all want to do so much: take on every request that people email us, complete our neverending list of tasks and projects, help everyone, travel everywhere, learn a ton of new skills, read every book and watch every good film, be the perfect partner and parent and friend …

And yet, we can’t possibly do it all.

There isn’t enough time in the day, nor do we have the attention bandwidth to devote to everything. Even if we were perfectly disciplined, we couldn’t possibly get to even half of what we want to do. Just as with eating, where our eyes are bigger than our stomachs … our hopes are bigger than our actual bandwidths.

So I say, give up on trying to do it all. Simplify. Don’t try to be perfect. Don’t try to have the most perfect life you can create.

Instead, make your days count.

How do you do that? Here are some ideas:

To read the rest http://zenhabits.net/undo/ 

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Thank you Robin for letting me share your very profound post.  

Inspiration, honesty, courage, who am I?, Robin Korth

I Cannot Give to Another What I Do Not Have for Myself

All that I am—all that I wish to be in power, purpose, meaning and love—arises from inside of me. I must choose to create this person that I am with each thought and breath, with each action, ache and need. This means I must pay attention as I seek to grow towards life from within my own heart and soul. Then, I can truly give of myself to others.

To be kind—I must know first how to treat myself well. I must know that I am human and frail, that I shall falter and stumble. Let me cherish the “not perfect” parts of me with clear eyes and a willingness to set them aside. Let me be kind to myself as I learn that this is a day-after-day thing. Getting rid of my faults is a lifetime affair—for newer and more subtle ones will always take the place of the ones I think I have laid down. This keeps me humble, active and aware. When I know true kindness within me, I can give it to you.

To be self-honest—I must first know what honesty really is. It is not the convenient truth, it is the brutally real truth of who I am. Self-honesty means I don’t duck my motives or dance around the corners of my actions. Let me have the courage to own the inside-truths of me within the mirror of my spirit. I already know them, anyway. To wander around pretending I don’t is a fool’s errand. I waste time in the spiritual growth department, I confuse myself and I keep the light of my “beingness” shunted dark. When I am self-honest within me, I can reveal who I am to you without fear because I already “know the worst”—and it has set me free. I can share my smile with you in laughing authenticity and self-honest grace.

To be compassionate—I must understand that compassion is the “working side of love.” Compassion starts with me loving who I am with that kindness and self-honesty that I already live within. Compassion means I don’t judge or condemn. I purposefully get in the trenches right beside you as I work with acceptance and courage to be a better person. I can then also reach my hand out to you with openness and love. I am you and you are me—human, flawed, beautiful and brave.

When I willingly and consciously seek to know and learn, to create and accept the bounty of who I am as a soul upon this earth, I can then share this “me” with “thee” and neither of us are alone.

Photo: www.sampaikini.com

Dear readers,  Please go directly to Robin’s post to leave comments for her.  http://www.robininyourface.com/i-cannot-give-to-another-what-i-do-not-have-for-myself/

 

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Peaceful by Ann Marquette

Peaceful by Ann Marquette

You can read this here, but please click this link to visit Jane’s blog directly and make all comments there.  Thank you for stopping by.

http://janefriedman.com/2015/01/19/10-resolutions-saner-internet/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+JaneFriedman+%28Jane+Friedman%29

For me, the hardest thing about being online is remaining focused on creative endeavors important to me. The multiplicity of voices—and the community that you care about—can make you forget your center. You get sucked into other agendas that could be worthy, but are never what you intended to get mixed up in. Sometimes, it’s hard not to play. You love the networks you’re a part of. You want to connect and contribute. You want to pay it forward.

But then it becomes hard to extricate yourself. You react and sometimes let it dictate your schedule. More and more often, you look up and realize that nothing you’ve been doing for the past few hours (or days or weeks!) much related to the underlying purpose you have for your own creative work.

There is so much to do, so much to participate in, so much to respond to—so many opportunities. It is a double-edged sword. Who doesn’t want more opportunities? But when the online community starts writing your to-do list, what happens to your own vision?

I’m not necessarily better at dealing with this than anyone else. I have periods of discipline, and then I don’t. I often gain back my discipline when I have moments away—to allow my own perspective to return. Some of the things I try to do:

  • Focus on reading or creative work first thing in the morning, for 3-6 hour stretches.
  • Stay off email for 8-12 hour periods—sometimes 24 hours.
  • Stay offline after dinner.

Sometimes I feel guilty about these things. What if students, colleagues, or clients need a response quickly? Is it OK to disappear for a full business day? I try to tell myself: Yes. And to also set others’ expectations so I don’t feel guilty.

All of this is a long prelude to 10 resolutions put forth by L.L. Barkat at Tweetspeak Poetry, as part of a movement called “Citizens for a Saner Internet—and Life.” Consider me one such citizen; want to join me?

10 Resolutions from Citizens for a Saner Internet—and Life

  1. Consider sharing three beautiful posts for every negative post we feel we must share.
  2. Share angry posts only if they significantly contribute to an important conversation.
  3. Understand anger as important, a red flag type emotion, that loses its strength if all we ever do is feel angry.
  4. Write headlines that are intelligent, witty, or intriguing without exhausting our readers by frequently playing the “outrage card” to get click-throughs.
  5. If we feel we want to listen to an angry Internet conversation for what it may be able to teach us about a subject, we resolve to do so silently for a “waiting period,” in a stance of learning rather than one of defense and counterattack.
  6. We will not link to attack journalism from our websites, so as not to give more power to the writer or website of said journalism. Related, we will not link to or re-share iterative journalism, which is a sloppy form of journalism designed to deliver a “scoop” that may have no foundation yet in truth.
  7. Consider ways to move beyond the “page view model” of Internet sustainability (which is one reason attack or sensationalist journalism is often pursued by individuals and websites, because it can result in high page views, which can translate into staying financially sustainable).
  8. Get offline for periods of rest—optimally, one offline day a week and getting offline by a certain cutoff time in the evenings—and use this time to cultivate face-to-face relationships, read, exercise, or otherwise interact with the world around us.
  9. If we are unsure about our own angry or sensationalistic post on a subject, we will first pass the post by trusted friends who come from different viewpoints, in a more private setting, before deciding whether to hit the publish button.
  10. If we have been online for hours and are finally simply “surfing” because we feel lonely or unfocused, we will get offline and spend time with people face-to-face, read, exercise, play, or delve deeply into a new interest area—one that will seriously challenge us and open up new avenues for our learning and our lives.

Sometimes, anger isn’t as much the issue (for me) as feeling buffeted by the concerns, egos, and ambitions that can be baked into social media interaction—where our moods and attitudes can be influenced who’s following, liking, responding, or connecting … or by who’s getting recognition or not … or by who’s agreeing or participating or not. Getting stuck in that thought pattern is a sure sign you’ve lost focus and probably control over what you’re trying to accomplish.

All that aside: I tend to have a bigger problem dealing with email distractions than social media distractions. Social media is easy to compartmentalize when needed; I’m still working on that with email.

As Laura says at her original post, feel free to take the 10 resolutions above and publish them on your blog. The resolutions are a community thing, and they belong to you if you want them to.

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Let us remember the purpose of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Gerard van Honthorst Adoration of the Shepherd...

Image via Wikipedia

It’s fun to give and get gifts as part of the celebration, but not at the expense of going into debt to do so.

We can  find ways to give the gift of ourselves to others by helping them in some specific way, meaningful to them.  Help someone in need, someone you don’t even know.

The most important part of celebrating Christmas, is by simply sharing a special time and a meal with friends and family.

Don’t get me wrong, I love giving gifts, when I can, even some small meaningful item.  For parents it is hard when they can’t afford to give gifts to their children.  I remember a time when me and my brother were young and our parents explained that we would only get one gift that Christmas because money was tight.  I don’t recall us being upset at all, we understood.

This is my early Christmas message to each and every one of you~

I wish for all of you throughout this special time…wisdom, peace, joy, caring, kindness, love for all, and safety.  I wish you many blessings this Christmas, and Hanukkah to my Jewish friends, and throughout the New Year.

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White tulips on return Nederlands: bijna uitge...

White tulips on return Nederlands: (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thinking about the changing landscape within friend relationships and I’d post this piece again.

Friends are the richest blessings we can have.

When we accept a new friend into our lives, we must take them as they are…warts and wonders.

Our friends must be given the freedom to come and go, in and out of our lives as they need.
Yet, when we feel a great need to share a thought, feeling, or time with a friend we should let them know…especially to let them know we care for and love them.

Some friends are like leaves on a tree, and the time comes for them to fall away from our lives and move on to become friends with others. We each leave a part of ourselves with the other.

Other friends are like rocks, here to stay with us through thick and thin…all the days of our lives.

Friendships, long or short-term, should be cherished and tended as the most valuable gift we have in life.

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Time for Letting Go

Asking For ForgivenessChristmas, or anytime,  is a great time to give this gift, not only to the other person(s), but also to ourselves. Time for healing.  

 

One of the most painful things we have to do in our lives is Letting Go.

Sometimes it is Letting Go of things…material things which mean a lot to us, because of sentimental value.

It may mean Letting Go of feelings. When we hold sadness inside, and try to mask it with only a show of happiness, it is better to feel the sadness so it washes through us then Let it Go. A good cry can be cleansing.

One of the best things to do in our lives is Letting Go of anger and hurt caused by others. We need to find it in our hearts to forgive lovingly. The anger and hurt we hold inside only poisons us, and causes us to allow that person or persons to control our feelings. I have heard of people who have been hurt far worse than I could ever imagine, yet they found it in their hearts to forgive, with love, and let go. They found freedom within that allowed them to soar like an eagle. I have found peace by forgiving others who have hurt me, and I pray they have found peace within themselves.

Sometimes, we have to let go of someone we care for very deeply when we realize that person does not care for us in the same way. Maybe it is best to leave them remembering us with whatever kind of feeling they do have for us. It may not be possible to hide our own deeper feelings for that person, which could make their life uncomfortable. Letting Go may be the best gift we can give them because they may realize how we feel, yet care enough not to want to hurt us.

Even when we know a relationship is not right, on both sides, or one person has a doubt about it, it is hard to let go of something that seems secure. We often accept less than the best because we can’t bear to let go.

There are occasions when we feel something wonderful for someone, but we don’t express it for fear of being rejected. Sometimes our feelings will be rejected. Yet, what if we withhold it from the one person who could very well be that One Special Someone in our lives and they too have been afraid to express their true feelings, or don’t even realize their true feelings yet! How sad that we may miss The Best for fear of Letting Go of the expression of those feelings.

Whatever the reason, or situation, it is never easy Letting Go.

©December 19, 2007

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I have been given permission to share this wonderful New Year’s Day post by my blogger friend Diane.  So much of her thoughts and feelings in this post could have come from my heart, had she not already done it 🙂  Thank you Diane.

http://dianereedwiter.wordpress.com/2014/01/01/what-i-know-for-sure/comment-page-1/#comment-5772

May all our blogger friends, facebook friends, ALL our friends and families be richly blessed this new year.

BELIEVE, FORGIVE SELF AND OTHERS, LET GO, AND MOST OF ALL TRUST IN GOD.

Believe ~ In New Beginnings by Ann Marquette

Believe ~ In New Beginnings by Ann Marquette

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The Sun Magazine November 2011 cover

I first found The Sun at some friends’ home in Greenville SC while visiting last November. They were busy working on something, and on their coffee table was the November 2011 issue of The Sun. I had never heard of this publication before, so I was curious.

There on page 4 was the first piece I read…an interview with author Michael Meade. The title of this article by John Malkin, the interviewer,  caught my attention “Your Own Damn Life – Michael Meade On The Story We’re Born With” 🙂

I devoured this article and the message within spoke to my heart and soul.  I knew already I just had to have this magazine.  I read a couple other articles while my friends finished what they were doing.

But not long after I returned to my own house in Georgia I found The Sun Magazine website, which itself is great, and I ordered a subscription.

This magazine is for writers and all who love to read good articles, stories, and poetry…AND love a magazine which is ad free!  It is supported by subscribers and donations from those who like what this publication is about and its mission to remain ad free.

Check out this piece by one of its authors, Krista Bremer who attended the writers’ retreat/workshop I recently attended.  http://www.thesunmagazine.org/get_involved/help_support_the_sun/letter

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A red rose with dewdrops Français : Une rose r...

Two years ago today…

I remember the relief when we got the news that Mother quietly left this world, because she was finally able to go home to Jesus as she had wanted for so many years.  She suffered long enough.

Looking at last year’s post for remembering her I decided it says what I would say again. **********************

On this morning a year ago, my mother quietly passed from this life into God’s arms. She wanted it so badly for many years.

We had our differences over the years, but although we were never close, we forgave each other the hurts we caused.

It was very sad when we found out she had Alzheimer’s. She didn’t have the best life and my heart-felt so bad for her. I have occasionally thought about writing for her “Mother~You Deserved a Better Life.”

She was the last of eight children…six girls and two boys. All are gone now, including their spouses. I wish I would have thought, many years ago when they were all alive to start asking questions about mother…the things they knew about her. Writing about her would mostly come from my own memories or things I think I remember she told me.

I did know that she gave birth to me out-of-wedlock, and the details were sketchy, until…

The time came when we had to put mother in assisted living. We found a very nice place which looked like a hotel. Her doctor even recommended it, and no that doctor was not assigned to that home. We, my brother and I, made all the arrangements with the home including which room she would be in and had some new furniture delivered there for her.
In conversations with the staff there, and other people we knew who had to put a relative in an Alzheimer’s assisted living facility we knew not to tell mother what was going to happen. The staff at the home said to bring her for lunch and that they would be around to help us when the time came to tell mother she would not be going back home.
God that hurts just writing it. It broke our hearts to have to put her there, but the doctor told us she should have been in about a year sooner.

So we told her we were taking her out to lunch, and since the dining room was on the first floor just like a hotel she would not think anything of it. She did mention a couple of times about all the old people there and so many in wheel chairs; but then immediately forgot about it. We had it arranged that when lunch was over and we were ready, the lady who was going to be mother’s daytime caregiver would come and offer to take us on a “tour.”
Then once we were in “mother’s room” we would tell her the news. I am not going there today.

Anyway, when we finished lunch and dessert we had some coffee and conversation. With Alzheimer’s the memories go, beginning with the most current so gradually they begin remembering older experiences. At one point mother looked at me and said something that I never knew, and my brother had never heard it either. She said “I am so glad I did not have you aborted!” Talk about shock! She told us that she had been raped (another shock) and was how she got pregnant with me. She said two of her siblings (she could not remember which ones) told her she should have an abortion. Apparently she had agreed. When they took her to have it done, as she was about to walk through the door to the room she decided she could not go through with it. So, she gave birth to me and kept me. It was not an easy life for her.  And then she ended up having to go through this horrible illness and be in assisted living for four years.

You deserved a better life mother, but I know you now have the best life.

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Icon of a television.

Image via Wikipedia

I watched this program Sunday morning…WONDERFUL!

In each 30 minute show there are 3 different real life stories for and about young people.
These are young people who have been through really tough times in their lives, yet came out on the other side to a better life, with the Winning Edge. Each young person is paired with a star from the entertainment industry or sports who introduces their story.

I highly recommend you check the list included for the station and airing time where you live. Watch with the young people in your family, especially the teens. Maybe you don’t have young people in your home, but you know other families who might enjoy and benefit from these programs.

The Mission of Challenger Films  http://challengerfilms.org/

Recognizing the immense impact of television on today’s youth, Challenger Films seeks to inspire youth to seek a life of integrity and character.
Challenger Films seeks to fulfill its mission through projects such as The Real Winning Edge, a 26 week, 30 minute television series which profiles young achievers who are peer role models.  These role models are introduced by well-known celebrities.  http://www.realwinningedge.com/

Check out the section “About Us” and learn about Dr. Diane Preston-Reilly, Founder and President of Challenger Films. She does this work from her heart. This is a non-profit organization and she can only keep doing this through the donations she receives. This is a very worthy and important cause to help the young people, who are our future.

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I spent the last three days in Greenville visiting friends and enjoying the annual Fall for Greenville festival. http://www.fallforgreenville.net

I am going to share a few photos over the next few days.

Big Bubble 2 photo by Ann Marquette

Big Bubble 1 photo by Ann Marquette

Food from Runway Cafe photo by Ann Marquette

Food from Nose Dive photo by Ann Marquette

Food from Soby's photo by Ann Marquette

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Our country has a silent epidemic…it is called suicide.

Not only people who are being bullied, but many in depression even if it is situational and not chemical depression. People who continually feel invisible, alone, unloved. Many people cannot understand why someone could commit suicide. How many times have you been talking with someone, answering a question they asked you about your life…in the middle of your answer someone breaks into the conversation about something totally different; and you never get to finish your part of the original conversation? Or maybe after asking the question you turned your attention to someone else instead of listening to the answer? Do we truly care about the other person? Are we really interested in hearing what someone else has to say?

Recently a friend, Trey committed suicide. He was going through some serious tough times in his life. He was a kind and caring man. One of his strongest beliefs was that everyone needs and deserves to be heard. Yet he was in so much emotional pain that something pushed him over the line and he took his own life.

I have heard of at least 3 other suicides within the past month, and a great many more stories of past suicides.

Trey’s brother, Erick has decided to spend the rest of his life fighting to stop suicide.  I urge you to read Erick’s blog and let us encourage continued dialogue about this epidemic and what we can do to help stop people from killing themselves, to let them know they ARE important, that they matter to us. http://warrioragainstsuicide.blogspot.com/2011/09/new-beginning.html

Here is a piece I wrote a few years ago. It is sad, but think about someone who may feel like this on a regular basis, they feel no one really cares about giving some quality time to really listen to them.
https://amarquette333.wordpress.com/2011/01/28/brief-moments-and-then/

Let us create a society where it is not taboo to talk about this and find ways to STOP SUICIDE.

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There are now copies of my book at the Greenville, SC book store FICTION ADDICTION http://www.fiction-addiction.com/ on Woodruff Road.  Thank you Jill Hendrix, Owner.  Special thanks to two of my friends, Wendy Morris and Richard Peck for suggesting I contact Jill. 

Little One~End of Journey Alone (current book cover)

LITTLE ONE has already been on an incredible journey.  She is about to meet someone really special, who will introduce her to a very unique creature.  The three of them will begin a new adventure together.

This new journey will take Little One to a place, the likes of which she has never seen before.  It is a place of beauty, a place of dreams.  It is a place where she will rest, and find out why she has been alone.  It is a place where she will meet characters that most people don’t even believe exist.  These new friends will help Little One prepare for the beginning of another journey.  A few of her new friends will join her on the next journey.

Come share with me the journey and adventures of Little One and her friends…

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Vector image of two human figures with hands i...

Image via Wikipedia

A story a few years ago about being connected got me thinking. These are my thoughts, observations, and feelings about being connected.

When I was a child in Michigan people came and went in each others homes. Neighbors knew each other, spent time with each other, kept an eye on each others children and it was acceptable to discipline someone else’s child. These days there are rare places where people feel safe leaving their doors unlocked. Most parents don’t want their children corrected by someone else even if it means their safety. Neighbors rarely even know each others names let alone have any conversation or socializing,

Many people, maybe even most, have built up walls, invisible boundaries around themselves even within their friendships. Some people are open to their friends just dropping by to say hello, maybe have a cup of coffee and chat, but those friends never have the time, or more likely don’t take the time for such visits. Everyone is too busy with busy stuff these days to truly nurture their relationships with family and friends. Now people are wrapped up in their own worlds. Mind you, I am not talking about people who I know have REALLY busy lives, especially if they have lots of children. The other problem is, we get so tired and stressed with things we have to deal with in this life that we relish quiet down time.

So, how do we connect at all these days? Who do we connect with…and why? I read a piece where the author talked about connecting, being “connected.” He talked about the human need to be connected, even if only through the internet! I am going to say “Oh yes.”

Isn’t it interesting that I use the word “talk” when referring to an editor’s article about being connected? But isn’t that what it’s about? Connecting is a conversation between people…whether it is speaking with your mouth, or via the written words.

For many people, the internet – emails, instant messaging, blogs, and tweets are the main sources for shut-ins, lonely singles (old and young), people who just want to “be connected” somehow. It is also huge among those who are married. Many parents connect with other parents about issues with children, finances, entertainment, house remodeling, cooking, etc. The list goes on and on.

I can only truly speak for myself here, my thoughts and feelings about the desire to be connected.

I love to socialize, to communicate with others, to be connected. However, I am also joyful in drawing wonderful people into my life, and having the ability to let go of anyone who is negative, who has any tendency to make me feel less than joyful. I have been truly blessed, especially in the last few years to have many joyful spirits come into my life…whether temporarily or on a more permanent basis.

The greatest joy of each city I have lived in during my life, so far, are the relationships I’ve made. Even though I don’t live in those cities any longer, the friendships have held. Some of the communications may be scattered throughout the year, and a few may only be at Christmas and birthdays with updates on our lives…but they remain true.

Thank God for those who created the internet, for email, which allows friends, family, and acquaintances to keep in touch and up-to-date with each other.

My computer does not shout “you’ve got mail,” but you can be sure I love the sound it does make when one arrives in my IN box. Sad part of this is that we communicate with our nearby friends more by email that getting up off our behinds and walking down the street, or take a drive to meet each other someplace to have a face to face conversation. Yet, at least through the technology of our cell phones and computers it helps us to feel we are not alone. I think that is why so many people are constantly on their cell phones, so they can feel connected.

I found a small city in South Carolina, which is a perfect day trip from where I live, and not only does it have a beautiful small town feel to its downtown area, with a river running through it and a park at the river below the falls, but it has the consistently friendliest people to strangers I have ever met. It is a place I can go to walk, sit by the river and its little water fall, stop to visit a few friends I’ve made, get a coffee or bite to eat, be at peace and whether in conversation with someone or not I feel connected.

The greatest constant unconditional connection I do have is my relationship with God. He is always there to listen and he connects with me all day, everyday, through a variety of ways…the refreshing raindrops that touch me when it rains, the sun warming me and giving me light, a smile from someone, the sound of the birds singing, a waterfall, and so much more.

Being connected is important to all of us…may you all be blessed with an open heart, to being truly connected.

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