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My Autumn

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Autumn Leaves – Greenville Falls Park 2010

Autumn has always been my favorite season. One Autumn a few years ago was extra special.

The tree colors in the city where I lived were more glorious than I had seen them before.

More wonderful, special people had come into my life…even if briefly. My heart used to hurt so much, when people who came into my life, and I would have liked to keep them there, but they would go out again; not for any bad reason, just life.

As I think about these special souls who come in and out of my life, I realize something magical about some of them. They have had unstable or life-threatening sad beginnings to their lives. Yet they and God knew they needed to be in this world of ours. They are living proof of miracles, and strength, goodness and love. These souls create moments of magic in other people’s lives…they have in mine. I think of them as elusive Unicorns who pass through my life reminding me that I have a loving heart. And even though my heart breaks when they leave, I know another will come along to fill that empty space even for a little while.

Maybe it was that Autumn when I learned to be at peace with letting people come in and out of my life as they needed or wanted. This time of year seems to be a beautiful time for Letting Go, to allow myself to become A Blank Slate in order to allow for healing and new beginnings.

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Recently I  read a question starting with “Born to…” and leaving the rest blank for our imaginations to fill in.  Another was of seeking our purpose while here; and beyond.

So here goes for my thoughts for me personally.BORN TO…

• Be kind and loving
• Serve God by serving others
• Learn
• Be encouraging
• Inspire
• Write
• Connect
• Walk God’s path for me now and forever

I would love to hear from you, with what you believe your were
Born to….

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Life has not always been kind to me. Much of it was my own fault for making wrong decisions. I still make some wrong choices, but hope a lot fewer.

Through it all I have been richly blessed by God, who loves me unconditionally. The greatest gifts He blesses me with are all the wonderful people He puts on this path I walk through this life.

I didn’t ask to be born and I almost wasn’t. There were times when I wished I wasn’t. Many times I wonder why I was born! I am growing in wisdom. And, glad I was born.

Learning to be grateful for my life, in all its ups and downs has been, and is a blessing. Still not sure what my purpose here is, but I pray I’m doing some things right.

Life IS Good!

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Friday Afternoon, September 15, 2017

It might be necessary to give up the quality time I currently have to read, watch, listen, daydream and write. I need the means for a supplemental income. My dream is to have enough temp/contract work, some full time some part time to bring in the finances needed, but still have plenty of free quality time for me and my dreams. None of my friends believe that is possible.  I believe it is, if it is God’s will it will happen.  Anyway, I am happy and grateful for my blessings.

I love meeting new people, and that also happens at the BN Cafes. It often begins by just seeing some of the same people over and over again, then we smile and say hello to each other. Eventually a time comes when one of us starts a conversation. It becomes a community, even if never socializing outside of here. Yet Greenville is still small enough to occasionally run into someone at another location, like a grocery store, at church etc.

Yesterday I watched a couple UTube posts about being grateful and saying thank you to others. It is a great reminder. I do thank God, at least most every day and sometimes more than once a day. But sometimes I forget to tell others thank you. It doesn’t matter if it is for something big or small. Too many times we take things for granted i.e. someone holding a door open for us, providing service with a smile, the gift of a handwritten message sent by snail mail, even a short kind text message. How many times a day do we miss saying thank you to someone, and brightening their day? How many things, a day can we be grateful for…especially the people in our lives.

Have you ever thought of being grateful for those things you are not even aware of, like being protected from an accident you might not have noticed while driving on our roads these days!

I love daydreaming as I look out the window wall I sit next to in the Café.  I watch the white fluffy clouds in the blue sky. I remember the time I saw one which looked like an island, My Island in the Sky
https://amarquette333.wordpress.com/?s=my+island+in+the+sky

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My Thoughts on this Labor Day 2017 as I am happily spending time in my local BN Café.

The only men in my life who really loved me. My Dad, and my high school boyfriend Johnny. And, the one who is alive…my brother, John who is also a best friend.
Johnny and I met through our church youth group while in high school. We became fast friends. He had asthma, and this was back in the 60s when there was no medicine for it like there is now.

He lived, probably a good 5 miles from where I lived. Usually one of his parents would drop him off at my house so he could spend time with us (me). When they couldn’t he would walk the miles to come see me; one day even in the rain without an umbrella! Some times when he could not come because of his asthma he would call and we would talk a long time on the phone. And, he would often play the piano for me over the phone. He was an amazing pianist and even wrote a beautiful piece which was going to be recorded! It reminded me of a beautiful waterfall. It was never recorded because the next summer Johnny died. I was devastated.
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Each time I come to BN Café lately I read a few pages of the latest issue of BELLA GRACE. Right now I can’t afford to buy it. I just turned the page to the next article “You are Loved!” Recently I have been sensing a feeling of what it might be like to have God’s best man for me in my life; almost as if it could actually happen. I don’t feel any need to have one, and definitely not looking. So it is strange to get this feeling just out of the blue.

A moment ago inside of a bubble of sensing something wonderful there was a hint of a tear in my soul. Don’t know if a sad tear or a happy one.
Even with my headphones on listening to music from Pandora I love watching the variety of people who come to this popular café and vaguely watch and listen to life going on around me.

Couples sitting together, but doing their own thing i.e. reading by whatever means they have chosen, doing crosswords etc. Some writing, working on a laptop or tablet, daydreaming, or chatting with others. Such an interesting mix of people. I love it all.

I like sitting next to the window wall. Often when a parent is walking past with their children, a child will look at me and smile as she is passing. Of course I smile back. It warms my spirit.

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Reading the Touchstones of Happiness, 75 of them from various individuals reminds me of some of my own.

My morning cup of French Press coffee with Jesus.

The day my brother came to us, only a few days old as a foster child. And again, when our parents brought him back home from a hospital in Virginia where is biological mother had left him, then decided to let us adopt him. We got him back before his first birthday. Thinking of him makes me smile.

A sweatshirt he gave me which I wore until it was nearly in tatters. I was able to save the front of it and a friend made it into a small pillow cover. Now I can hug it lovingly, like I am hugging him.

Fresh flowers bring me joy, especially tulips, calilies, and daisies.

Books, books, books.

My Tiffany Bracelet from Becky. And remembering how I met her…at my Tiffany Reception hosted by the Regional VP of Tiffany’s for my newly published book.

Walks along a sandy beach at the ocean.

A fresh new legal pad of paper, a favorite pen…and the beginning of a new writing.

Or a clean white Word doc writing with the keys on my tablet as I sit in the Barnes and Noble Café.

Quality time with friends, face to face.

What are some of your touchstones of happiness?  Would love to read yours.

http://bellagracemagazine.com

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As I read this article in Bella Grace, I made a few notes for myself.

As Peter’s emotions brought on different seasons allow mine to do the same: dress for the season I want to be in, whether actual clothes or colors i.e. no black but spring colors when feeling it.

Create a Fairy Garden, on my porch or inside.

Settle in for Neverland inspired movies.

Step out of my color comfort zone and buy some Tiger Lilies and other colors of flowers.

Become a Fairy for a time by imagining being so tiny that I can contain only ONE emotion and FEEL it.  Write words that reflect that feeling, think of anything that is a part of those words/sensations etc.

Take myself to a Neverland – feel it, go there, be there, see it…

I love Bella Grace.  It encourages and inspires reflection within; and the journal pages gives me the place to write my thoughts.

Check out Bella Grace for yourself  http://bellagracemagazine.com/

Wishing everyone a Neverland of your own.

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