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Posts Tagged ‘caring’

Something inspired me to write this a few months ago. Finally decided to post it before my recent writings.

Locking the Door? 

Should I lock the door
the door to me
my spirit, my soul and heart
only leaving a little light
burning inside?

Have you ever felt this way?

Being sensitive souls, we sometimes feel we are un-liked, unloved, that no one really cares.
We feel as though we could be gone from this world and no one would notice. Maybe on occasion someone would wonder what happened to us, but not enough to check. And if they do and think we are ok, they may not wonder again for months.

In this world we live in, we tend to have so many things on our minds that we forget to check in on family, friends, and even friendly acquaintances on occasion. Our lives get distracted by a variety of things, and we tend to do a lot of “just busy stuff” that really doesn’t mean much, if anything.

How many times do you see two or more people together, either walking or even sitting together, but each of them is on their phones texting, emailing, or even talking to someone else. They don’t even care enough to actually communicate, to share quality time with each other face to face. I have been to blame on a rare occasion, for just for a second or two if I have been expecting an important call or text. But, I practice putting my cell on vibrate and keeping it in my purse…unless I am with a “friend” who checks her notifications and will even respond with a text or answer the call!

We get so self-absorbed in our own lives that we forget to check in on those we care about. And even when we are together we are not even fully present to the other person. So sad, because we are actually missing out on the gift right in front of us…the person we claim to care about.

Whenever I have felt neglected by others, especially if I have made the effort to connect, it would make me sad and unloved, or just unlikable. It is rare these days that I allow myself to feel that way, even for a short time. Some years ago a major trauma in my life brought this home to my heart in a big way. I finally had the AHA moment when I wondered how many times I may have made someone else feel sad, lonely, unloved!  Now I really try to connect with others, at least every now and then to let them know I am thinking of them, that I care.

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A story a few years ago about being connected got me thinking. These are my thoughts, observations, and feelings about being connected.

When I was a child in Michigan people came and went in each others homes. Neighbors knew each other, spent time with each other, kept an eye on each others children and it was acceptable to discipline someone else’s child. These days there are rare places where people feel safe leaving their doors unlocked. Most parents don’t want their children corrected by someone else even if it means their safety. Neighbors rarely even know each others names let alone have any conversation or socializing,

Many people, maybe even most, have built up walls, invisible boundaries around themselves even within their friendships. Some people are open to their friends just dropping by to say hello, maybe have a cup of coffee and chat, but those friends never have the time, or more likely don’t take the time for such visits. Everyone is too busy with busy stuff these days to truly nurture their relationships with family and friends. Now people are wrapped up in their own worlds. Mind you, I am not talking about people who I know have REALLY busy lives, especially if they have lots of children. The other problem is, we get so tired and stressed with things we have to deal with in this life that we relish quiet down time.

So, how do we connect at all these days? Who do we connect with…and why? I read a piece where the author talked about connecting, being “connected.” He talked about the human need to be connected, even if only through the internet! I am going to say “Oh yes.”

Isn’t it interesting that I use the word “talk” when referring to an editor’s article about being connected? But isn’t that what it’s about? Connecting is a conversation between people…whether it is speaking with your mouth, or via the written words.

For many people, the internet – emails, instant messaging, blogs, and tweets are the main sources for shut-ins, lonely singles (old and young), people who just want to “be connected” somehow. It is also huge among those who are married. Many parents connect with other parents about issues with children, finances, entertainment, house remodeling, cooking, etc. The list goes on and on.

I can only truly speak for myself here, my thoughts and feelings about the desire to be connected.

I love to socialize, to communicate with others, to be connected. However, I am also joyful in drawing wonderful people into my life, and having the ability to let go of anyone who is negative, who has any tendency to make me feel less than joyful. I have been truly blessed, especially in the last few years to have many joyful spirits come into my life…whether temporarily or on a more permanent basis.

The greatest joy of each city I have lived in during my life, so far, are the relationships I’ve made. Even though I don’t live in those cities any longer, the friendships have held. Some of the communications may be scattered throughout the year, and a few may only be at Christmas and birthdays with updates on our lives…but they remain true.

Thank God for those who created the internet, for email, which allows friends, family, and acquaintances to keep in touch and up-to-date with each other.

My computer does not shout “you’ve got mail,” but you can be sure I love the sound it does make when one arrives in my IN box. Sad part of this is that we communicate with our nearby friends more by email that getting up off our behinds and walking down the street, or take a drive to meet each other someplace to have a face to face conversation. Yet, at least through the technology of our cell phones and computers it helps us to feel we are not alone. I think that is why so many people are constantly on their cell phones, so they can feel connected.

I found a small city in South Carolina, which is a perfect day trip from where I live, and not only does it have a beautiful small town feel to its downtown area, with a river running through it and a park at the river below the falls, but it has the consistently friendliest people to strangers I have ever met. It is a place I can go to walk, sit by the river and its little water fall, stop to visit a few friends I’ve made, get a coffee or bite to eat, be at peace and whether in conversation with someone or not I feel connected.

The greatest constant unconditional connection I do have is my relationship with God. He is always there to listen and he connects with me all day, everyday, through a variety of ways…the refreshing raindrops that touch me when it rains, the sun warming me and giving me light, a smile from someone, the sound of the birds singing, a waterfall, and so much more.

Being connected is important to all of us…may you all be blessed with an open heart, to being truly connected.

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Reposting this one, also remembering my friend, Smita. She was a candle in my life.

Oh life of mine… you are the path God has set me upon.

The paths have been crooked, winding, jagged, straight,
narrow and wide, flat and steep.

Some of the paths have been bright and some very dark.

Yet all along the way “He” has gifted me with many to light my way…
family members, many who are also friends, strangers who became friends,
and some souls who passed through this life of mine to guide a step or two,
then went on their way.

The last several years have been the beginning of a brand new life, a brand new path.
I have closed the gates to past issues, and so many new gates have opened along this
new path I have chosen.

My spirit has come alive on this path.
As in the past, new friends have come lighting the way
These friends are the Candles in my Life.

Thank you dear God, for these blessings.

Copyright 2003

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Heart

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I am reposting this piece, and will repost more about friendships/relationships as I remember my friend Smita who passed away on Friday, June 10, 2011.

Friends are the richest blessings we can have.
When we accept a new friend into our lives, we must take them as they are…warts and wonders.
Our friends must be given the freedom to come and go in and out of our lives, as they see fit for themselves.
Yet, when we feel a great need to share a thought, feeling, or time with a friend we should let them know…especially to let them know we care for

and love them.
Some friends are like leaves on a tree, and the time comes for them to fall away from our lives and move on to become friends with others. We each leave a part of ourselves with the other.
Other friends are like rocks, here to stay with us through thick and thin…all the days of our lives.
Friendships, long or short-term, should be cherished and tended as the most valuable gift we have in life.

September 2003

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Asking For ForgivenessChristmas is a great time to give this gift, not only to the other person(s), but also to ourselves. Time for healing.

One of the most painful things we have to do in our lives is Letting Go.

Sometimes it is Letting Go of things…material things which mean a lot to us, because of sentimental value.

It may mean Letting Go of feelings. When we hold sadness inside, and try to mask it with only a show of happiness, it is better to feel the sadness so it washes through us then Let it Go. A good cry can be cleansing.

One of the best things to do in our lives is Letting Go of anger and hurt caused by others. We need to find it in our hearts to forgive lovingly. The anger and hurt we hold inside only poisons us, and causes us to allow that person or persons to control our feelings. I have heard of people who have been hurt far worse than I could ever imagine, yet they found it in their hearts to forgive, with love, and let go. They found freedom within that allowed them to soar like an eagle. I have found peace by forgiving others who have hurt me, and I pray they have found peace within themselves.

Sometimes, we have to let go of someone we care for very deeply when we realize that person does not care for us in the same way. Maybe it is best to leave them remembering us with whatever kind of feeling they do have for us. It may not be possible to hide our own deeper feelings for that person, which could make their life uncomfortable. Letting Go may be the best gift we can give them because they may realize how we feel, yet care enough not to want to hurt us.

Even when we know a relationship is not right, on both sides, or one person has a doubt about it, it is hard to let go of something that seems secure. We often accept less than the best because we can’t bear to let go.

There are occasions when we feel something wonderful for someone, but we don’t express it for fear of being rejected. Sometimes our feelings will be rejected. Yet, what if we withhold it from the one person who could very well be that One Special Someone in our lives and they too have been afraid to express their true feelings, or don’t even realize their true feelings yet! How sad that we may miss The Best for fear of Letting Go of the expression of those feelings.

Whatever the reason, or situation, it is never easy Letting Go.

©December 19, 2007

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