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Archive for the ‘Musings’ Category

I made notes on specific days and going to leave them as I wrote on the dates.

Saturday 2/25/17
It’s sunny, 72 and very windy out today as I sit in my local BN Café, reading, people watching, and listening to bits of conversations; and daydreaming. There were two gentlemen around my age sitting at a table chatting over coffee. They meet here fairly frequently, but since I don’t get here that often while working the full time contract job, my times and theirs don’t sync. I only hear little snatches of their conversation about politics, their children, and a variety of other topics. One of them looks interesting!  Hey, I’m not dead!

Sunday 3/12/17
Here I am again at BN Café …Sunday afternoon, the day time changed, springing forward one hour! As typical on a weekend day here at the café there are a lot people. Lucky to find a place to sit. There is an older couple each engrossed in their own reader/tablet, an old man sitting alone reading, I think waiting for his spouse. A young couple sitting next to me…she seems to be studying from a large text book, he also but too busy texting…the girl can’t seem to stop talking (not in a soft quiet voice). There is a woman, maybe in her 50s, sitting alone while her grown son is off by himself among the magazines. A variety of people mostly reading with their drink, some with laptops, another young couple – she is painting on a canvas, he is reading. I was reading for a bit then my eyes got tired so I decided to watch others and write.

WOW! I look up and here comes Wendy. She has things to do on her laptop and so we decide to sit at a double table so we can each do our thing, yet communicate. We haven’t seen each other in a long time.

SO, BACK TO “WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?”

Still working at City of Greenville until April 28th, getting projects done at home, looking for another place to live (maybe, only God knows), involved in things through church, socializing with friends. This month the Gilmore Girls are in town so Catherine and I will be spending a good amount of time with them.

I’m also reading the book Uninvited (Living Loved, when you feel less than, left out, and lonely) by Lysa TerKeurst. Just what I need at this time as I struggle to stop feeling rejected. I am not as sensitive these days with those feelings. But, this book is helping to understand.

Also trying to change eating habits and maybe get into the Mediterranean way of eating. That will take some studying and trying recipes. Just have to get my body in better shape by eating healthier and exercising.

Gradually becoming less of a procrastinator and actually accomplishing the to do’s on my list. Maybe I should start a STAR board and add a star for each accomplishment. Might be encouraging!

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I write this as I look at myself, through my own lens.  Some who know me may say “Oh yes, you are that…judgmental.”  And sadly I will agree with you.  Recently the little voice inside told me I was doing that a lot, not as much verbally, but a lot mentally.  So I asked God to please forgive me all the times I have judged someone or a situation, and to help me stop.

I think about when the time comes and I stand before God, how will He judge me!  Thankfully I know He forgives me, and that brings me to Forgiveness.  It is so important that I continue to forgive others whether they actually hurt me, or the hurt is only imagined.

So, I have been practicing to stop the judgemental thinking at the start and I want to share the joys of becoming open minded.

One day while sitting in Barnes and Noble (BN Café) enjoying reading with a cup of coffee a man came struggling through between the tables.  He was a big man, heavyset, gray hair, goatee, about 5’ 4” and maybe in his 60’s. He was very shaky and unsteady even though using a cane.  He was very frustrated, even a bit angry as he mumbled “this is a death trap.”  He repeated same to a young man (maybe his son) who came a couple minutes later to get him.  Of course, my immediate mental reaction was that he was a grumpy old man!

I watched as the young man patiently helped him up and held the man’s hand as he struggled again to walk through the tables and chairs, then out of the store to their car which was right in front of the floor to ceiling wall of glass which allowed me to continue watching.  It took the man quite awhile to get himself into the car and I could see the pain and frustration on his face.  Suddenly my heart softened and I realized his difficulty was more the cause of his frustration and anger as it reduced his inability to be fully independent.   

Another day at BN Café, yes I come here a lot as my external office and people watching.  I love to sit at a table where lots of light comes in and do my reading and writing.  Anyway, as I sat peacefully doing my thing, a young man…well young compared to me these days (ha ha ha)…came in with his five children around the ages of 8 to 13 (my estimate).  He pulled together a few of the small tables and chairs.  As the children got settled in, Dad went to get two large Frappuccinos which they all shared.

Yes, the minute they came in and began sitting down I thought “Oh no, what kind of noise are they going to create to disturb my peace!”  Before you judge me, let me say that I love kids, unless they are undisciplined brats.  Actually it is not those children I don’t like, but the parents who allow them to be that way. I used to child sit for a family of five of the greatest kids who I just adore…three girls and two boys.

Again I caught myself and just watched.  They each took out a tablet, and the dad did the same.  I thought he was going to do some home schooling.  The children were quiet, soft spoken and well-mannered.  Each of them were busy doing something on their own pads and would show each other what they had done.  Turns out they were drawing pictures, and the Dad is actually a sketch artist along with his own marketing business.    They were a smiling, happy, peaceful and loving family…three girls and two boys.  Every once in awhile one of the younger girls with blond hair who was seated where she could see me would look over at me and smile.  Just watching this family warmed my heart, filled me with joy, and actually made my heart smile. Of course I smiled back.  I finally got up and asked the dad if I could take a picture of them, explaining what a joy it was for me to watch them.  He gave me his permission, and I emailed him the two photos I took.  Just watching them filled me with a peace and joy I can’t explain, and made my heart smile.

So, I am learning to not judge, but to leave my heart and spirit open to God’s amazing gifts.

If you have read this far, I thank you and hope you enjoyed.  If you have had similar experiences or have any other comments I would love to hear from you.

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Hello to all who have been my followers and I hope you are still.  I have been working on a few transitions in my life, although I think my whole life has been in transition.  Always hoping I am following the right path! 🙂

I’m trying to work more on my writing and want to get back to blogging.  Thinking about creating a second blog page to separate my stories and poems from my personal musings, but have not gotten to that point yet.  But I do have something I want to get posted in the meantime and will share it soon.

Thanks to all of you still out there following.

PS.  And to all the bloggers I am following, please forgive me for being so behind in reading everything, and those I do read I may not have something specific to comment so I may only click the “Like” button.

Blessings to all of you

BELIEVE

Believe     by Ann Marquette

 

 

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Dedicated to all who have been, are, and will be a part of my patchwork life.
What an amazing life
Like a beautiful patchwork quilt
Various shades of colors
A variety of designs~

Family, friends, acquaintances
Some famous personalities
Some only whispers
Some a passing breeze
Some who stay forever,
In this life and beyond~

Traumatic painful times
Soft and quiet hours
And oh yes…
Miraculous, magical moments
Peaceful, wonderfully loving moments~

The most beautiful patches
All the special people
Happy times
Magic moments…
But, every single one
Sewn together
To match, blend, highlight, contrast
Every Blessed piece
Make up this…
Wonderful patchwork life of mine~

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Let us remember the purpose of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Gerard van Honthorst Adoration of the Shepherd...

Image via Wikipedia

It’s fun to give and get gifts as part of the celebration, but not at the expense of going into debt to do so.

We can  find ways to give the gift of ourselves to others by helping them in some specific way, meaningful to them.  Help someone in need, someone you don’t even know.

The most important part of celebrating Christmas, is by simply sharing a special time and a meal with friends and family.

Don’t get me wrong, I love giving gifts, when I can, even some small meaningful item.  For parents it is hard when they can’t afford to give gifts to their children.  I remember a time when me and my brother were young and our parents explained that we would only get one gift that Christmas because money was tight.  I don’t recall us being upset at all, we understood.

This is my early Christmas message to each and every one of you~

I wish for all of you throughout this special time…wisdom, peace, joy, caring, kindness, love for all, and safety.  I wish you many blessings this Christmas, and Hanukkah to my Jewish friends, and throughout the New Year.

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Dedicated to all who have been, are, and will be a part of my patchwork life.
What an amazing life
Like a beautiful patchwork quilt
Various shades of colors
A variety of designs~

Family, friends, acquaintances
Some famous personalities
Some only whispers
Some a passing breeze
Some who stay forever,
In this life and beyond~

Traumatic painful times
Soft and quiet hours
And oh yes…
Miraculous, magical moments
Peaceful, wonderfully loving moments~

The most beautiful patches
All the special people
Happy times
Magic moments…
But, every single one
Sewn together
To match, blend, highlight, contrast
Every Blessed piece
Make up this…
Wonderful patchwork life of mine~

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White tulips on return Nederlands: bijna uitge...

White tulips on return Nederlands: (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thinking about the changing landscape within friend relationships and I’d post this piece again.

Friends are the richest blessings we can have.

When we accept a new friend into our lives, we must take them as they are…warts and wonders.

Our friends must be given the freedom to come and go, in and out of our lives as they need.
Yet, when we feel a great need to share a thought, feeling, or time with a friend we should let them know…especially to let them know we care for and love them.

Some friends are like leaves on a tree, and the time comes for them to fall away from our lives and move on to become friends with others. We each leave a part of ourselves with the other.

Other friends are like rocks, here to stay with us through thick and thin…all the days of our lives.

Friendships, long or short-term, should be cherished and tended as the most valuable gift we have in life.

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