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Archive for the ‘Musings’ Category

woman looking at sunset

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Having this strange time, due to Covid-19 quarantining, gives us the opportunity to reflect, and dream. 

My thoughts go to how important it is to love and forgive.  To love everyone, no matter what.  We may not like what some people do or think; some of their choices, but they are still God’s children.

I wonder who in my life I might have hurt in some way.  It is probably everyone who is or was in my life.  How do I ask for forgiveness when I don’t know what I may have said or done to hurt them?  Maybe it’s what I didn’t do or say.

Turning the tables, I wonder who I might have forgotten to forgive, even if only for a perceived hurt.  Thinking about that, how many of us have made bad choices in our lives and never realized how those choices my have had ripple affects in the lives of others.

Our thoughts are powerful and can affect others even if we and they don’t realize it.

That is when we really need to lovingly forgive others, in our hearts, minds, and spirits.  Remember God forgives and loves us all.

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It is raining outside. Well, I know I don’t need to add the word “outside” since where else would it rain. Inside?! Maybe, if there is a hole in the roof, or the window is open and the wind is blowing the rain in.

The rain is reminding me of the movie “Singin In The Rain” where Gene Kelly is dancing and singing in the rain.  That looks like fun.  It is a happy song, and his reason for singing and dancing in the rain.  

Maybe this will bring a smile to your face!  

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Let us remember the purpose of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Gerard van Honthorst Adoration of the Shepherd...

Image via Wikipedia

It’s fun to give and get gifts as part of the celebration, but not at the expense of going into debt to do so.

We can  find ways to give the gift of ourselves to others by helping them in some specific way, meaningful to them.  Help someone in need, someone you don’t even know.

The most important part of celebrating Christmas, is by simply sharing a special time and a meal with friends and family.

Don’t get me wrong, I love giving gifts, when I can, even some small meaningful item.  For parents it is hard when they can’t afford to give gifts to their children.  I remember a time when me and my brother were young and our parents explained that we would only get one gift that Christmas because money was tight.  I don’t recall us being upset at all, we understood.

This is my early Christmas message to each and every one of you~

I wish for all of you throughout this special time…wisdom, peace, joy, caring, kindness, love for all, and safety.  I wish you many blessings this Christmas, and Hanukkah to my Jewish friends, and throughout the New Year.

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Autumn Leaves – Greenville Falls Park

Autumn has always been my favorite season. One Autumn a few years ago was extra special.

The tree colors in the city where I lived were more glorious than I had seen them before.

More wonderful, special people had come into my life…even if briefly. My heart used to hurt so much, when people who came into my life, and I would have liked to keep them there, but they would go out again; not for any bad reason, just life.

As I think about these special souls who come in and out of my life, I realize something magical about some of them. They have had unstable or life-threatening sad beginnings to their lives. Yet they and God knew they needed to be in this world of ours. They are living proof of miracles, and strength, goodness and love. These souls create moments of magic in other people’s lives…they have in mine. I think of them as elusive Unicorns who pass through my life reminding me that I have a loving heart. And even though my heart breaks when they leave, I know another will come along to fill that empty space even for a little while.

Maybe it was that Autumn when I learned to be at peace with letting people come in and out of my life as they needed or wanted. This time of year seems to be a beautiful time for Letting Go, to allow myself to become A Blank Slate in order to allow for healing and new beginnings.

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affection appreciation decoration design

Photo by Carl Attard

Some months ago I asked…

“Dear God, I just want enough finances to support myself, help others. Dine out with friends and some traveling.”  Please show me what is your best for me and how I can accomplish it.”

Well, He has been answering my prayer over the last few months, and I am grateful.

“Thank you God for guiding me to the book “You will never have this day again” where I read an inspirational quote from Oprah “Do What You Have to do Until You Can do what you Really Want to do.”

It was like God hitting me over the head with a 2×4. It was then I realized I needed to accept doing as much work as possible in order to pay off my debt and build my savings.

I am grateful the paid work I’m doing for the City of Greenville is enjoyable and does not create stress.  I also enjoy the people.

I have been working at transitioning from my habit of procrastination to doing now, not later. I’m getting better and better as the days go on.

And now God has gifted me with my wish for working half days most of the year, or at least half the year, and full time when special projects require it.  This allows me the extra income I need to support myself, help others, and treat myself sometimes, specially the dine outs with my gal friends.

Half days off gives me the time to comfortably run errands (not Saturdays!), and take care of items on my personal to do list.  I try to make Sundays my day of rest and relaxation.

What I really enjoy doing is reading, awake dreaming, writing about what inspires me, coffee with friends, and sometimes go for a drive.  I have been away from my writing for a long time. I pray I stick with it now.

 

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misc 041

Autumn Leaves – Greenville Falls Park 

Autumn has always been my favorite season. One Autumn a few years ago was extra special.

The tree colors in the city where I lived were more glorious than I had seen them before.

More wonderful, special people had come into my life…even if briefly. My heart used to hurt so much, when people who came into my life, and I would have liked to keep them there, but they would go out again; not for any bad reason, just life.

As I think about these special souls who come in and out of my life, I realize something magical about some of them. They have had unstable or life-threatening sad beginnings to their lives. Yet they and God knew they needed to be in this world of ours. They are living proof of miracles, and strength, goodness and love. These souls create moments of magic in other people’s lives…they have in mine. I think of them as elusive Unicorns who pass through my life reminding me that I have a loving heart. And even though my heart breaks when they leave, I know another will come along to fill that empty space even for a little while.

Maybe it was that Autumn when I learned to be at peace with letting people come in and out of my life as they needed or wanted. This time of year seems to be a beautiful time for Letting Go, to allow myself to become A Blank Slate in order to allow for healing and new beginnings.

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I made notes on specific days and going to leave them as I wrote on the dates.

Saturday 2/25/17
It’s sunny, 72 and very windy out today as I sit in my local BN Café, reading, people watching, and listening to bits of conversations; and daydreaming. There were two gentlemen around my age sitting at a table chatting over coffee. They meet here fairly frequently, but since I don’t get here that often while working the full time contract job, my times and theirs don’t sync. I only hear little snatches of their conversation about politics, their children, and a variety of other topics. One of them looks interesting!  Hey, I’m not dead!

Sunday 3/12/17
Here I am again at BN Café …Sunday afternoon, the day time changed, springing forward one hour! As typical on a weekend day here at the café there are a lot people. Lucky to find a place to sit. There is an older couple each engrossed in their own reader/tablet, an old man sitting alone reading, I think waiting for his spouse. A young couple sitting next to me…she seems to be studying from a large text book, he also but too busy texting…the girl can’t seem to stop talking (not in a soft quiet voice). There is a woman, maybe in her 50s, sitting alone while her grown son is off by himself among the magazines. A variety of people mostly reading with their drink, some with laptops, another young couple – she is painting on a canvas, he is reading. I was reading for a bit then my eyes got tired so I decided to watch others and write.

WOW! I look up and here comes Wendy. She has things to do on her laptop and so we decide to sit at a double table so we can each do our thing, yet communicate. We haven’t seen each other in a long time.

SO, BACK TO “WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?”

Still working at City of Greenville until April 28th, getting projects done at home, looking for another place to live (maybe, only God knows), involved in things through church, socializing with friends. This month the Gilmore Girls are in town so Catherine and I will be spending a good amount of time with them.

I’m also reading the book Uninvited (Living Loved, when you feel less than, left out, and lonely) by Lysa TerKeurst. Just what I need at this time as I struggle to stop feeling rejected. I am not as sensitive these days with those feelings. But, this book is helping to understand.

Also trying to change eating habits and maybe get into the Mediterranean way of eating. That will take some studying and trying recipes. Just have to get my body in better shape by eating healthier and exercising.

Gradually becoming less of a procrastinator and actually accomplishing the to do’s on my list. Maybe I should start a STAR board and add a star for each accomplishment. Might be encouraging!

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I write this as I look at myself, through my own lens.  Some who know me may say “Oh yes, you are that…judgmental.”  And sadly I will agree with you.  Recently the little voice inside told me I was doing that a lot, not as much verbally, but a lot mentally.  So I asked God to please forgive me all the times I have judged someone or a situation, and to help me stop.

I think about when the time comes and I stand before God, how will He judge me!  Thankfully I know He forgives me, and that brings me to Forgiveness.  It is so important that I continue to forgive others whether they actually hurt me, or the hurt is only imagined.

So, I have been practicing to stop the judgemental thinking at the start and I want to share the joys of becoming open minded.

One day while sitting in Barnes and Noble (BN Café) enjoying reading with a cup of coffee a man came struggling through between the tables.  He was a big man, heavyset, gray hair, goatee, about 5’ 4” and maybe in his 60’s. He was very shaky and unsteady even though using a cane.  He was very frustrated, even a bit angry as he mumbled “this is a death trap.”  He repeated same to a young man (maybe his son) who came a couple minutes later to get him.  Of course, my immediate mental reaction was that he was a grumpy old man!

I watched as the young man patiently helped him up and held the man’s hand as he struggled again to walk through the tables and chairs, then out of the store to their car which was right in front of the floor to ceiling wall of glass which allowed me to continue watching.  It took the man quite awhile to get himself into the car and I could see the pain and frustration on his face.  Suddenly my heart softened and I realized his difficulty was more the cause of his frustration and anger as it reduced his inability to be fully independent.   

Another day at BN Café, yes I come here a lot as my external office and people watching.  I love to sit at a table where lots of light comes in and do my reading and writing.  Anyway, as I sat peacefully doing my thing, a young man…well young compared to me these days (ha ha ha)…came in with his five children around the ages of 8 to 13 (my estimate).  He pulled together a few of the small tables and chairs.  As the children got settled in, Dad went to get two large Frappuccinos which they all shared.

Yes, the minute they came in and began sitting down I thought “Oh no, what kind of noise are they going to create to disturb my peace!”  Before you judge me, let me say that I love kids, unless they are undisciplined brats.  Actually it is not those children I don’t like, but the parents who allow them to be that way. I used to child sit for a family of five of the greatest kids who I just adore…three girls and two boys.

Again I caught myself and just watched.  They each took out a tablet, and the dad did the same.  I thought he was going to do some home schooling.  The children were quiet, soft spoken and well-mannered.  Each of them were busy doing something on their own pads and would show each other what they had done.  Turns out they were drawing pictures, and the Dad is actually a sketch artist along with his own marketing business.    They were a smiling, happy, peaceful and loving family…three girls and two boys.  Every once in awhile one of the younger girls with blond hair who was seated where she could see me would look over at me and smile.  Just watching this family warmed my heart, filled me with joy, and actually made my heart smile. Of course I smiled back.  I finally got up and asked the dad if I could take a picture of them, explaining what a joy it was for me to watch them.  He gave me his permission, and I emailed him the two photos I took.  Just watching them filled me with a peace and joy I can’t explain, and made my heart smile.

So, I am learning to not judge, but to leave my heart and spirit open to God’s amazing gifts.

If you have read this far, I thank you and hope you enjoyed.  If you have had similar experiences or have any other comments I would love to hear from you.

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Hello to all who have been my followers and I hope you are still.  I have been working on a few transitions in my life, although I think my whole life has been in transition.  Always hoping I am following the right path! 🙂

I’m trying to work more on my writing and want to get back to blogging.  Thinking about creating a second blog page to separate my stories and poems from my personal musings, but have not gotten to that point yet.  But I do have something I want to get posted in the meantime and will share it soon.

Thanks to all of you still out there following.

PS.  And to all the bloggers I am following, please forgive me for being so behind in reading everything, and those I do read I may not have something specific to comment so I may only click the “Like” button.

Blessings to all of you

BELIEVE

Believe     by Ann Marquette

 

 

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