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Posts Tagged ‘my thoughts’

Life has not always been kind to me. Much of it was my own fault for making wrong decisions. I still make some wrong choices, but hope a lot fewer.

Through it all I have been richly blessed by God, who loves me unconditionally. The greatest gifts He blesses me with are all the wonderful people He puts on this path I walk through this life.

I didn’t ask to be born and I almost wasn’t. There were times when I wished I wasn’t. Many times I wonder why I was born! I am growing in wisdom. And, glad I was born.

Learning to be grateful for my life, in all its ups and downs has been, and is a blessing. Still not sure what my purpose here is, but I pray I’m doing some things right.

Life IS Good!

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My Thoughts on this Labor Day 2017 as I am happily spending time in my local BN Café.

The only men in my life who really loved me. My Dad, and my high school boyfriend Johnny. And, the one who is alive…my brother, John who is also a best friend.
Johnny and I met through our church youth group while in high school. We became fast friends. He had asthma, and this was back in the 60s when there was no medicine for it like there is now.

He lived, probably a good 5 miles from where I lived. Usually one of his parents would drop him off at my house so he could spend time with us (me). When they couldn’t he would walk the miles to come see me; one day even in the rain without an umbrella! Some times when he could not come because of his asthma he would call and we would talk a long time on the phone. And, he would often play the piano for me over the phone. He was an amazing pianist and even wrote a beautiful piece which was going to be recorded! It reminded me of a beautiful waterfall. It was never recorded because the next summer Johnny died. I was devastated.
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Each time I come to BN Café lately I read a few pages of the latest issue of BELLA GRACE. Right now I can’t afford to buy it. I just turned the page to the next article “You are Loved!” Recently I have been sensing a feeling of what it might be like to have God’s best man for me in my life; almost as if it could actually happen. I don’t feel any need to have one, and definitely not looking. So it is strange to get this feeling just out of the blue.

A moment ago inside of a bubble of sensing something wonderful there was a hint of a tear in my soul. Don’t know if a sad tear or a happy one.
Even with my headphones on listening to music from Pandora I love watching the variety of people who come to this popular café and vaguely watch and listen to life going on around me.

Couples sitting together, but doing their own thing i.e. reading by whatever means they have chosen, doing crosswords etc. Some writing, working on a laptop or tablet, daydreaming, or chatting with others. Such an interesting mix of people. I love it all.

I like sitting next to the window wall. Often when a parent is walking past with their children, a child will look at me and smile as she is passing. Of course I smile back. It warms my spirit.

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I wrote this early December 2016.  I thought it would be a longer piece of its own, but it seems like it was the beginning of a new journey!  Maybe!

Currently I am reading Heaven by Randy Acorn, Mere Christianity by CS Lewis, for Church – Divine Renovation by Father James Mallon, and finished Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert.
This fits in with my #3 Strength – Intellection. I love reading and learning, and much of it inspires my Futuristic strength. I don’t like to rush through reading these types of books. As I read a little at a time I sometimes find similar or identical thoughts by the different authors, even when the theme of their books differ.
I’ve been transitioning within myself most of my life. I’ve lived in many places including abroad, and travelled quite a bit, so I think I have a little gypsy in me. A few years ago I realized I must have been searching for HOME when I happened on Greenville SC. I thought it was just a great place to make day trips and occasional weekends away from where I was living at the time. Then one day I realized it was THE PLACE where I felt AT HOME. A few years later I was able to move here.
Greenville is not perfect as a city, not paradise, but it is a wonderful, blessed place to live; and make wonderful new friends and friendly acquaintances.
The various temp jobs were great while waiting for a great permanent part-time job. They afforded me the joy of meeting more great people. I don’t need to be rich, but I do need to have the extra quality personal time to read, learn, be inspired, and write.
Where do I go from here?
I continue to transition into better habits and see my path to a more creative life.
It’s a busy time of year. In addition to the normal life things to deal with there is a new lease contract to read through, and health insurance notices/updates for the coming new year to read through!!! Those are not things I like doing, but they have to be done. There are things at church I am involved in, social responsibilities, and working full time contract work with the City of Greenville again until some time next year.
Until things settle down within the job and life stuff I find it is difficult to take the quality time I need to get through more reading, and back to writing on a regular basis. Oh well the time will come.

Until next post..love and blessings to all.  May you all find your own path.

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Lovely Entrance Exit by Ann Marquette

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I’m sitting here in the Barnes & Noble Café on Haywood Road with my headphones on listening to relaxing music via Pandora on my Nook.  The headphones allow me to hear my own music, and drown out the loud piped in music supplied by the store.  I’m catching up on my reading of articles in Poets & Writers magazine.  They teach and inspire me.

A few minutes ago two women in their 50s or 60s sat down two tables away from me.  They are speaking in loud voices which intrude on my mind space.  So concentration, even a little concentration is not possible.

Now I hear Frank Sinatra singing My Kind of Town on the store speakers.  I can’t even drown them out by turning my volume all the way up, which could possibly damage my eardrums!

Wait…Frank’s song strikes me as significant to the part of my story of…finding home.  I suspect it is because of the article I just read by Joni Tevis under P&Ws section The Literary Life and titled Getting the Lead Out, about discovering a better essay in the foothills of South Carolina.

Now as I am reading the sub-section Why We Write Michael Bourne telling us that failure is an option.  This one makes me wonder if I should create a new blog of word, phrases, short sentences that have meaning to me…my thoughts, my life, my world, my town, my ongoing search within my heart, soul and spirit.

A good few hours.  Makes me smile.

Check out Joni Tevis and her book The World Is On Fire http://www.jonitevis.com/author.html

and Michael Bourne at http://www.michaelbournewriter.com/new-page-1/

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