Letting Go…

Every once in a while the thought of Letting Go comes to mind.  Some times it’s because there is a conversation with others about something or someone in their lives they feel must go. So, again I repost this piece that may help you in the Letting Go process. 

You can, and most likely will find peace within yourself by Letting Go.

~~~~~~~~~~

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

One of the most painful things we have to do in our lives is Letting Go. Sometimes it’s Letting Go of things…material things which mean a lot to us, even if only sentimental value. It may mean Letting Go of feelings. When we hold sadness inside, and try to mask it with only a show of happiness, it is better to let it go, to feel the sadness so it washes through us. A good cry can be cleansing.

Sometimes, we have to let go of someone in our life. Maybe we no longer belong in each others lives, for whatever reason. If it’s a love relationship, romantic or friendship, Letting Go may be the best gift we can give them. Even when we know a relationship is not right, on both sides, or one person has a doubt about it, it is hard to let go of something that seems secure. We often accept less than the best because we can’t bear to let go.

There are occasions when we feel something wonderful for someone, but we don’t express it for fear of being rejected. Some times our feelings will be rejected. Yet, what if we withhold it from the one person who could very well be that One Special Someone in our lives and they too have been afraid to express their true feelings, or don’t even realize their true feelings yet! How sad that we may miss The Best for fear of Letting Go of the expression of those feelings.

Whatever the reason, or situation, it is never easy Letting Go.

You can, and most likely will find peace within yourself by Letting Go.

©March 1994 Edited July 25, 2019

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Feel Like Crying ~ Why!

Every once-in-awhile, over the last few months, I will suddenly feel like crying! No tears in my eyes. The feeling is dep inside.  Maybe in my heart!  I don’t know if it is a sadness or for a happy reason.  Maybe in between.  I wish I knew.

Have you ever felt like that?  Would love to hear from you..

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Labor Day 2017

My Thoughts on this Labor Day 2017 as I am happily spending time in my local BN Café.

The only men in my life who really loved me. My Dad, and my high school boyfriend Johnny. And, the one who is alive…my brother, John who is also a best friend.
Johnny and I met through our church youth group while in high school. We became fast friends. He had asthma, and this was back in the 60s when there was no medicine for it like there is now.

He lived, probably a good 5 miles from where I lived. Usually one of his parents would drop him off at my house so he could spend time with us (me). When they couldn’t he would walk the miles to come see me; one day even in the rain without an umbrella! Some times when he could not come because of his asthma he would call and we would talk a long time on the phone. And, he would often play the piano for me over the phone. He was an amazing pianist and even wrote a beautiful piece which was going to be recorded! It reminded me of a beautiful waterfall. It was never recorded because the next summer Johnny died. I was devastated.
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Each time I come to BN Café lately I read a few pages of the latest issue of BELLA GRACE. Right now I can’t afford to buy it. I just turned the page to the next article “You are Loved!” Recently I have been sensing a feeling of what it might be like to have God’s best man for me in my life; almost as if it could actually happen. I don’t feel any need to have one, and definitely not looking. So it is strange to get this feeling just out of the blue.

A moment ago inside of a bubble of sensing something wonderful there was a hint of a tear in my soul. Don’t know if a sad tear or a happy one.
Even with my headphones on listening to music from Pandora I love watching the variety of people who come to this popular café and vaguely watch and listen to life going on around me.

Couples sitting together, but doing their own thing i.e. reading by whatever means they have chosen, doing crosswords etc. Some writing, working on a laptop or tablet, daydreaming, or chatting with others. Such an interesting mix of people. I love it all.

I like sitting next to the window wall. Often when a parent is walking past with their children, a child will look at me and smile as she is passing. Of course I smile back. It warms my spirit.

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Start of a New Beginning – Day 3

I meant to post this last night, but the day got away from me 🙂

Last year on November 16th it was finally MOVING DAY to Greenville SC 🙂 

We got up early as my friends Becky and Scott would arrive shortly.  They were helping with the move.  Once they arrived we loaded the UHaul enclosed trailer I rented the day before, which the guys hitched up to Scott’s big red shiny pickup.  And we packed my SUV to the roof.  My friend and neighbor, Susan also helped with the loading even though she could make the trip with us.

Then off we went, on the two-hour HAPPY drive to my new home.

Once here I showed Becky and Scott my apartment, then the four of us got everything unloaded.  They had to head back to Georgia for a family event so they couldn’t join me and my brother for lunch.  At the moment I cannot remember where John and I went for lunch.  I think we went downtown, then back here to do some unpacking and setup the air mattresses so they would be ready for us to crash that night.

In the evening we met my local friends Carole and Dan at Cheddars for dinner.  It was great to introduce them and John to each other.  It was also the first time for all of us to eat at a Cheddars restaurant.  It was very good and reasonably priced.  It was a lovely evening celebrating my first night in my new home (the apartment AND the city of Greenville).  So glad my brother was here with me.

The next morning we had breakfast at Waffle House, relaxed a bit, unpacked a few more things before driving him to the Greenville-Spartanburg airport for his flight home to Michigan.  I hated to see him go, but he had family and a job to get back to.

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An Imaginary Friend

This was inspired by the story Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend  
By Matthew Dicks http://matthewdicks.com/memoirs-of-an-imaginary-friend . 
The story is told by Budo who is the Imaginary Friend about his precarious life.
I suspect many of us feel invisible, even to those who are friends or friendly
acquaintances, at times. 

***

You can see my human body,
But you don’t SEE me.

You can hear my voice
But you don’t HEAR me.

You say we are “friends”
But do you really KNOW me?

Am I your friend,
Even when it is not convenient?

Am I your friend,
Only when you want something?

Do you KNOW
My strengths,
Do you care?

Do you KNOW
My likes and dislikes
Do you care?

Do you KNOW
What hurts me,
Do you care?

Do you KNOW
What makes me happy
Do you care?

Can you really SEE me
Do you want to KNOW me
Do you care?

Are we really FRIENDS
Or just IMAGINARY FRIENDS?

© August  2014

Have YOU, ever experienced a sense of being invisible?  How does it make you feel?

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Home is Where?

How many times have I heard or read “home is where the heart is” or “home is where you hang your hat” or “home is wherever you are” ~ oh my! Anyway, I left Michigan where I was born to live in the sunnier Miami, Florida. It was “ok,” but the humidity and heat so many months of the year was stifling. Just as I was thinking about moving back to Michigan near family, I met a man and we ended up getting married! Well that ended 5 years later when he was having an affair with a neighbor and said he wanted a divorce. A couple years later and after several major traumas in my life, ending with my Father’s death I moved to Ireland.  I needed a major break in my life and wanted to experience living abroad. A few months after moving there, guess what, I met a man and we ended up getting married several months later. After 12 years of marriage, most of that time in and out of marriage counseling  I found out he was having an affair. As there was no divorce in Ireland and 20% unemployment I moved back to the US.  I chose Atlanta GA where I believed it was the right place to start back in my home country. I got the divorce from the Irish husband and lived in Georgia for 23 years, except for five months in Napa CA. In all these places I never felt AT HOME.

In 2006 after moving back to GA from CA I decided to find a place near enough for just getting away day trips. Once reading about the downtown area of Greenville, SC I decided to make a trip to check it out. It was great and so were the people. I found it to be a breath of fresh air, times of joy in my life every time I visited. Then change in me began to take place and one day I realized I had actually found HOME. The desire to move there grew, but I had a townhouse in GA to sell. I first started trying to sell in 2008 just as our economy tanked, and it continued to get worse. I finally sold it November 2013. Still lost my shirt on it, but didn’t have to take money to the table to get rid of it. So I was finally able to move to Greenville, SC.

Everything is not perfect here. Some of those who were so friendly and even suggested we would get together…never happened.  I have yet to find a part time job, which I really need pretty soon (some source of supplemental income).

BUT, I am so HAPPY being in Greenville. I love it here and it is HOME to me. I have made some lovely new friends, found a great church, and becoming more involved in life here. Here is where I find my JOY.

Have you found your HOME place and your JOY?

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Letting Go…

It is a new year ~ 2014, and as usual I go through a time of remembering people who have come into my life in the previous year, become closer as friends, or others as we have drifted  apart.  And, as I recently moved and going through boxes which had been packed for several years I find things I forgot I had.  Being in a new place and no furniture to speak of it is a good time to let go of many things, either donate to Goodwill, give to family or friends, or toss:-) 

So as I am “letting go” again, I do so with love, peace and joy. 
It opens space for the gift of something or someone new.

Below is the piece I wrote some years ago.

~~~~~~~~~~

One of the most painful things we have to do in our lives is Letting Go. Sometimes it is Letting Go of things…material things which mean a lot to us, even if only sentimental value. It may mean Letting Go of feelings. When we hold sadness inside, and try to mask it with only a show of happiness, it is better to let it go, to feel the sadness so it washes through us. A good cry can be cleansing. Sometimes, we have to let go of someone we care for very deeply when we realize that person does not care for us in the same way. Maybe it is best to leave them remembering us with whatever kind of feeling they may have for us, if any at all. It may not be possible to hide our own deeper feelings for that person, which could make their life uncomfortable. Letting Go may be the best gift we can give them because they may realize how we feel, yet care enough not to want to hurt us. Even when we know a relationship is not right, on both sides, or one person has a doubt about it, it is hard to let go of something that seems secure. We often accept less than the best because we can’t bear to let go. There are occasions when we feel something wonderful for someone, but we don’t express it for fear of being rejected. Sometimes our feelings will be rejected. Yet, what if we withhold it from the one person who could very well be that One Special Someone in our lives and they too have been afraid to express their true feelings, or don’t even realize their true feelings yet! How sad that we may miss The Best for fear of Letting Go of the expression of those feelings. Whatever the reason, or situation, it is never easy Letting Go. ©March 1994

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Joy in The Most Important…

Love and Gratitude are the most important things.
It is important to open our hearts to loving everyone. We don’t have to like the way they are, but our hearts need to love anyway.

Gratitude for even the smallest things reminds us of the positive in our lives.

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Where I was standing when I knew…

Reedy River from Main Street Bridge

I had been going to Greenville for day trips and the occasional weekends for art festivals, the Fall for Greenville festival. Eventually I realized it was a very special place for me. One day while standing on the Main Street Bridge looking at the river below and the swing next to the big tree, I knew it was where I belong, where I feel at home.

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November 11 – Happy then Sad Day

It began very well. I got up and started a bit earlier than usual, which I have been trying to do. Thanks to a friend who gave me a wake up call this morning I made it
After taking care of a few things around the house I went out for a few groceries and stopped to check in on a sick friend.

On the drive to the grocery store I thought about calling Mother to talk. Of course, I couldn’t because she passed away in April. I have been having those thoughts lately and initially they are pleasant thoughts. Then I remember how we were never close and didn’t have a good relationship. As I got older more information from her past made me realize why she was the way she was. It was very sad when she developed Alzheimer’s and eventually had to be placed in an assisted living facility. So many times I think “she deserved a better life.”

Today’s Oprah was a full hour with Marie Osmond talking about her son, Michael. She told what a great person he was; smart, happy, joyful, and full of fun. He cared so much for others. Yet he had difficulty with drugs and depression through many years of his life before he committed suicide this past February. He called her the night before and said he didn’t feel as if he had any friends.
Marie told how she felt during a time of post partum  depression. She believed everyone would be better off without her, but she would realize that was not true.

Our minds and hearts are very fragile. So many people, even those who seem so beautiful, popular, smart, and have it all together have moments of vulnerability. They too can feel unloved, unappreciated, lack self-confidence, and invisible. Most are only fleeting episodes, and some who become depressed can come out of it quickly.

Yet there are so many who hide their depression by acting happy and self-confident, but are really hurting inside. They know most people don’t really want to know if someone is having a bad day, because they are too busy and have their own lives to deal with. So, the hurt and loneliness go unspoken until it becomes too hard to endure. Such a sad place to be, and it is becoming more and more prominent in our society.

So this evening has been deeply internal for me. I can empathize with those who go through this kind of sadness, and my heart hurts for them.

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