Random Thoughts Journal

Friday Afternoon, September 15, 2017

It might be necessary to give up the quality time I currently have to read, watch, listen, daydream and write. I need the means for a supplemental income. My dream is to have enough temp/contract work, some full time some part time to bring in the finances needed, but still have plenty of free quality time for me and my dreams. None of my friends believe that is possible.  I believe it is, if it is God’s will it will happen.  Anyway, I am happy and grateful for my blessings.

I love meeting new people, and that also happens at the BN Cafes. It often begins by just seeing some of the same people over and over again, then we smile and say hello to each other. Eventually a time comes when one of us starts a conversation. It becomes a community, even if never socializing outside of here. Yet Greenville is still small enough to occasionally run into someone at another location, like a grocery store, at church etc.

Yesterday I watched a couple UTube posts about being grateful and saying thank you to others. It is a great reminder. I do thank God, at least most every day and sometimes more than once a day. But sometimes I forget to tell others thank you. It doesn’t matter if it is for something big or small. Too many times we take things for granted i.e. someone holding a door open for us, providing service with a smile, the gift of a handwritten message sent by snail mail, even a short kind text message. How many times a day do we miss saying thank you to someone, and brightening their day? How many things, a day can we be grateful for…especially the people in our lives.

Have you ever thought of being grateful for those things you are not even aware of, like being protected from an accident you might not have noticed while driving on our roads these days!

I love daydreaming as I look out the window wall I sit next to in the Café.  I watch the white fluffy clouds in the blue sky. I remember the time I saw one which looked like an island, My Island in the Sky
https://amarquette333.wordpress.com/?s=my+island+in+the+sky

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My Journal Entry – Saturday September 26, 2015

I’m sitting here in the Barnes & Noble Café on Haywood Road with my headphones on listening to relaxing music via Pandora on my Nook.  The headphones allow me to hear my own music, and drown out the loud piped in music supplied by the store.  I’m catching up on my reading of articles in Poets & Writers magazine.  They teach and inspire me.

A few minutes ago two women in their 50s or 60s sat down two tables away from me.  They are speaking in loud voices which intrude on my mind space.  So concentration, even a little concentration is not possible.

Now I hear Frank Sinatra singing My Kind of Town on the store speakers.  I can’t even drown them out by turning my volume all the way up, which could possibly damage my eardrums!

Wait…Frank’s song strikes me as significant to the part of my story of…finding home.  I suspect it is because of the article I just read by Joni Tevis under P&Ws section The Literary Life and titled Getting the Lead Out, about discovering a better essay in the foothills of South Carolina.

Now as I am reading the sub-section Why We Write Michael Bourne telling us that failure is an option.  This one makes me wonder if I should create a new blog of word, phrases, short sentences that have meaning to me…my thoughts, my life, my world, my town, my ongoing search within my heart, soul and spirit.

A good few hours.  Makes me smile.

Check out Joni Tevis and her book The World Is On Fire http://www.jonitevis.com/author.html

and Michael Bourne at http://www.michaelbournewriter.com/new-page-1/

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Crystal Tears

Today I was reading a post titled “If I Only Had a Heart”  by Laurie Buchanan http://holessence.wordpress.com/2012/08/28/if-i-only-had-a-heart/ and as several of us posted our comments it reminded me of a poem I wrote eight years ago.  I have been asked to post it.  So here it is.

CRYSTAL TEARS
 By Ann Marquette

It has been so very long
Since tears have flowed freely

As each tear cannot find its way free
It crystallizes within this heart of mine

So many times I feel the pain
Of the crystal tears piercing my heart

I wonder how long will it be
Before the pain is washed away

What will it take to melt these crystal tears
Allowing them to flow freely once more…

©February 2004
All rights reserved

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Journey to Writers’ Retreat continued

Artwork in the Garden at Rowe by Ann Marquette

Ok, I know, I am nine days late getting this out.  No valid excuse.  But, here I am finally posting more of my trip…in case anyone is still interested, and if nothing else, I write this for myself. 

Day 2
After selecting my breakfast choices from the hotel’s continental breakfast bar I ate in my room while watching some of the Today Show.  Then it was time to pack up, make my travel cup of Starbucks Italian Roast extra bold instant coffee for the road.

Destination this day was a hotel in Bear, Delaware for the overnight rest.  It was a long drive including through D.C., some toll booths, over bridges, and through a tunnel or two before arriving around 6:20pm.  As I entered the lobby there was a musty smell, and what smelled like body odor!  I wanted a first floor room, but told the hotel was booked out for the weekend (this was a Thursday evening), so my room was on the 3^rd floor.  By the way, this hotel was not in a great area and the only visible nearby place to get a meal was across the highway.  If I had only arrived before 6pm I could have cancelled my booking at no cost.  So I had to stay there.  I got to my room and found it hot and smelly from the heat.  I had to turn on the AC full blast for it to cool down and get rid of the smell, which took about an hour.  I had hoped to relax that night by watching the season finale of Touch.  Wouldn’t you know, they were having issues with their cable and three of the stations were not working.  Of course, the one I wanted to watch was one of them.  Eventually I feel asleep on the little couch.

Day 3
This was the final day to reach the end of my 1,000 plus miles with many stops for potty breaks, stretching my legs, getting gas, and the occasional meal.  I am grateful to Laurie Buchanan’s blog Speaking from the Heart post about her favorite writing tool, her squishy buns.  http://holessence.wordpress.com/2012/05/22/squishy-buns-my-favorite-writing-tool/    It was just what I needed for such a long drive.  I went to www.gelcoproducts.com and purchased one of their Gel Seats.  What a great product.   It helped me to sit straighter and more comfortably.  And, for the first time after sitting in the car for long periods I did not feel stiff at all when I got out.

Yippee, this was the day to arrive at my real destination…the Rowe Camp & Conference Center in the Berkshire Mountains for the weekend writers’ retreat/workshop.  Registration was 4-7 PM on this Friday, June 1^st.  With hors d’oeuvres starting at 6 PM I wanted to be there in time to get settled and join in the networking and snacks J  Do you think it was food on my mind?

I made it up the mountain, arriving at Rowe Camp & Conference Center just before 5 PM.

Entrance to Rowe Farmhouse by Ann Marquette

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In Writing Limbo…but :-)

I need, and want to continue the story of my recent journey to the writers’ retreat/workshop in Rowe, MA, and return journey, but I am in limbo on this one.     So many other things going on in my life right now, including…

I have been working on my personal transition which includes reading works which inspire and encourage me along the way.  As I read there are AHA moments which I write notes about so I can refer to them later.   One of the blessings from my trip and the workshop has created another positive shift in my transition.

This weekend I bought myself  three small gardenia plants to put in my front yard along the front of the porch.  They produce small, lovely white flowers and a light gardenia scent.  One single gardenia bloom reminds me of a time back in the 1970’s when I had a surgery.  When I woke I was already in my hospital room.  My bed faced the door, and as I woke, standing there in the doorway was my surgeon with a single gardenia in a small paper cup.  It was so beautiful, and the thoughtfulness of that doctor is a beautiful memory.

My Gardenia by Ann Marquette

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Beautiful and Peaceful space

Peaceful Place along Reedy River by Ann Marquette

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Goodbye…at least for now

I need to take several steps back in my life and I will not be posting or commenting on anyone’s posts for a while.  Time to crawl into my space and review my life.  Thanks for all your kindnesses.

I wish you all many blessings, peace, joy, and love.

Tulip (Photo credit: sk8geek)

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WordPress Blogging … changes I see

Most of the blogs I have been following for some time now, when I’ve read and commented on the post, I did not have to “login” but now I do for all of them.

Also, it seems that even previously approved comment authors show “waiting for moderation.”  Maybe I missed an update from WordPress awhile back where they did some upgrade and created new defaults for all or most of us, which means we have to change them.

You may remember I previously posted about not getting response from WP asking about these issues.  I sent the request to WP support on March 1^st.  I finally got a reply to my questions as follows:

My comment:  Over the last few months I notice…more and more and more… the following:

The bloggers I am subscribed to, when I try to leave a comment it forces me to “log in” when I never had to before and many bloggers I still don’t have to login.

WP reply: It’s up to a blog owner whether they require users to log in to comment or not. It’s also a setting that can be changed at any time. For instance, on a blog where you previously didn’t need to log in, if the owner changes the setting then you’ll need to log in next time you comment.

My other comment: Regarding approvals on both sides, I notice that some blogs I am subscribed to, when I comment the message “waiting for moderation” shows up, when that would not happen previously since I had been commenting before.  And a few of the subscribers to me, now when they leave a comment I get the message I have to APPROVE their comment first.

WP reply:  Again, blog owners can change this setting if they want to moderate the comments that come in.

It looks like you have comments open, but you do require people to have a previously approved comment before they can comment the first time.

I did write back that although my settings are ok, as before, it is strange I would have to approve someone who had previously commented.  I also asked her why I am having to login to reply to someone who has commented on my post, when I did not have to do that before; and it only started recently.

Am I imagining things, am I going crazy? 🙂  Ok, I know I am already crazy, but come on now!!!

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Gratitude, Attitude, and Joy … February 29, 2012

River Seridó (Photo credit: grungepunk2010)

Thank you God for the many blessings in my life, and the joy that has filled me up as I walked out of past struggles with your guidance.

I live to walk the path you want for me, and need to KNOW only your voice, your whispers to guide my every step, every thought, word, and action throughout each day. Keep me on the right path ~ to step confidently over each rock across the river, over any narrow road, any times where I cannot see where I’m going, and guide me to choose the right way in any fork in the path.

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Gratitude, Attitude, and Joy … February 22, 2012

Valentine Flowers from my brother photo by Ann Marquette

I am grateful for my brother in my life, and it was so sweet of him to get me flowers for Valentine’s Day last week.  His thoughtfulness brought a smile to my heart and joy to my spirit.

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first of 40 days of Lent.  To think about the purpose of this time and where it takes us is a reminder that Jesus died willingly to save us.  I am so thankful for his personal sacrifice for us, and I will continue to strive to become a better, kinder, more loving person.

Today was a lovely, quiet, peaceful, and prayerful day.  My gratitude for all the many blessings in my life could never be big enough, but I try.  I am especially grateful and joyful for all the wonderful people who have been in my life, those currently in my life, and all those yet to come in and sit awhile…or stay forever.

Blessings to all of you.  May you enjoy the photos of the flowers my brother gave me.

Flowers from my brother photo by Ann Marquette

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2012 ~ A New Year to Begin Anew

The New Year is a time to start with a clean slate, a new journal to write in, an empty vase to fill, making new memories, and finding new joys in our lives.

I am grateful for the blessings of 2011.  In January 2011 I was told my heart is in perfect condition, “the heart of a teenager” according to the cardiologist.  I continued to work on making improvements in my life and experienced aha moments of those I accomplished.

Over the past year I have told most everyone I know that I blog, I share many, if not most, of my posts on Twitter and Facebook.  On a rare occasion I send a special post out through email to family and friends so they get it directly and don’t miss seeing it on Twitter or Facebook.   Some read it, some don’t; most of the comments and are from other bloggers.

There have been times I’ve considered not sharing my writings at all because I think no one really cares, or they don’t like what I write, or don’t like it enough to hit the Like button or leave a comment.

But then, out of the blue someone will write back and say how much something I wrote meant to them, and sometimes that it inspired or encouraged them.  So, each time I write and post something online I am stepping out of my comfort zone, allowing myself to be vulnerable, and hoping that maybe one person will enjoy what I wrote, or be inspired or encouraged by it.

So this year I am going to continue my blog post and hope to improve as I go along.  I am thinking of a special theme/subject to focus on this year.  Will decide soon J

In the meantime, I got no sleep last night as I was away from home helping others as a volunteer.  So I am very tired and cannot focus any more tonight

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If you controlled the weather, what would it be like outside today?

Image via Wikipedia

Ah yes…the weather?

I wake just before the dawn.  Put on my slippers and robe.  I prepare a big mug of coffee.  I step outside the door…and it is a perfect cool morning.  The sun is not up yet, but I can see a clear sky.  It is so wonderful to enjoy the first cup of coffee and watching the day wake as the light comes up over the horizon.

My perfect all day weather is a clear, crisp, bright Fall day.  The leaves are changing colors, under a beautiful sunny sky with the occasional fluffy white clouds.  I take camera and go for a long leisurely drive, stopping wherever inspired to do so.

A perfect Autumn day…

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My Favorite Sounds

Today’s WP suggested topic…Revisit a topic you wrote about in January. 

W A T E R~~~~~~

Reedy River

Ah! I love the sounds of water.
A river flowing over rocks, before it falls over the edge into a waterfall as I sit in a nearby swing.
Ocean tides just kissing the beach or pounding waves crashing on land while I walk along the sandy beach.
Sounds of water lapping against boulders, bubbling streams or small running brooks.
The sound of rain on the window as I am curled up in a big chair reading a good book.

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MY WILDEST/MOST CHERISHED DREAMS…

Written July 28, 2005 and my dream is still pretty much the same 🙂

I wake shortly before dawn, to a brand new day, in my new life. I go to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. I can see the moon from the window and it is so beautiful.

While the coffee brews I go brush my teeth put on my slippers and robe… I’m quiet so my husband can sleep a little longer. He was up late working on his latest masterpiece. He creates the most wonderful works of art…and He has all the special qualities I always wanted in my soul mate. I love him so much.

I get my coffee and go out to the deck to watch the sunrise. I love the sound of the ocean, and watching it change as the sun rises. Soon I feel the gentle caress as my Love leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek and says “I’ll be right back Princess” as he goes to get his coffee.

Together we share this precious time of day as it comes alive with the sunrise. Once it is full light, it’s time to talk about our day’s schedules. He’s working on the illustrations for my first two books in the Little One series. My publisher is going to publish them in hardback with the illustrations…

My agent and publicist will arrive around 9am to discuss this project and my current schedule of book signings, speaking engagements, and the movie being made of my first book

Now My Love and I just sit together in quiet peacefulness for a while before we start our day’s work. I love this start to our days.

These are my dreams, the creative life I dream to live.  ***What is your most cherished dream?

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Nourishing Crumbs of Life

How many times have you heard that even giving someone a smile, a genuine smile, that it alone can brighten their day.  It does mine, and I hope that my smile can be a little crumb to nourish another’s heart. 

The wee little crumbs
The birds flock to them
They fight for them
Those crumbs are food
They nourish the winged creatures

The crumbs of our lives
A smile
A kind word
A thank you
A compliment
A moment of praise
Brief moments…

Nourishing crumbs of life
Feeding our spirits
Keeping us alive
Until the next one…

Copyright March 17, 2005

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