I Cannot Give to Another What I Do Not Have for Myself by Robin Korth

Thank you Robin for letting me share your very profound post.  

I Cannot Give to Another What I Do Not Have for Myself

Robin Korth

 As I continue this journey of life it has become very clear to me that self-knowing and self-owning are primary. To have a happy life, a generous and widely-brave life, I must do the work of actively becoming the person I want to be. It doesn’t just happen.

All that I am—all that I wish to be in power, purpose, meaning and love—arises from inside of me. I must choose to create this person that I am with each thought and breath, with each action, ache and need. This means I must pay attention as I seek to grow towards life from within my own heart and soul. Then, I can truly give of myself to others.

To be kind—I must know first how to treat myself well. I must know that I am human and frail, that I shall falter and stumble. Let me cherish the “not perfect” parts of me with clear eyes and a willingness to set them aside. Let me be kind to myself as I learn that this is a day-after-day thing. Getting rid of my faults is a lifetime affair—for newer and more subtle ones will always take the place of the ones I think I have laid down. This keeps me humble, active and aware. When I know true kindness within me, I can give it to you.

To be self-honest—I must first know what honesty really is. It is not the convenient truth, it is the brutally real truth of who I am. Self-honesty means I don’t duck my motives or dance around the corners of my actions. Let me have the courage to own the inside-truths of me within the mirror of my spirit. I already know them, anyway. To wander around pretending I don’t is a fool’s errand. I waste time in the spiritual growth department, I confuse myself and I keep the light of my “beingness” shunted dark. When I am self-honest within me, I can reveal who I am to you without fear because I already “know the worst”—and it has set me free. I can share my smile with you in laughing authenticity and self-honest grace.

To be compassionate—I must understand that compassion is the “working side of love.” Compassion starts with me loving who I am with that kindness and self-honesty that I already live within. Compassion means I don’t judge or condemn. I purposefully get in the trenches right beside you as I work with acceptance and courage to be a better person. I can then also reach my hand out to you with openness and love. I am you and you are me—human, flawed, beautiful and brave.

When I willingly and consciously seek to know and learn, to create and accept the bounty of who I am as a soul upon this earth, I can then share this “me” with “thee” and neither of us are alone.

Photo: www.sampaikini.com

Dear readers,  Please go directly to Robin’s post to leave comments for her.  http://www.robininyourface.com/i-cannot-give-to-another-what-i-do-not-have-for-myself/

 

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When the World Came to Town: 9/11 in Gander Newfoundland by Jim Defede

The true story In Marge Katherine’s blog post is a blessing, and a reminder that there are good people in this world.

Happily ... after retirement

Sometimes when you least expect it there’s a story that takes you by surprise and captivates you. This book, When the World Came to Town:  9/11 in Gander Newfoundland by Jim Defede did that for me. This story detailed the events that happened in Gander, Newfoundland after the World Trade Center bombing in NYC on 9/11.  Do you remember that the airspace in the US was shut down after that happened?  Many of the planes turned back, others that were very close to the US were diverted to Canada. Others not yet over the ocean were rerouted to Gander.

This story is about the citizens of Gander (population 10,000) and nearby communities and how they stepped up to welcome 38 planes carrying over 6000 people.

Imagine a town of 10,000 finding food, housing, medicine, clothes (suitcases were left onboard the planes) and transportation for over 6000 people? Not only was this…

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10 Resolutions for Saner Internet & Life from Jane Friedman

Peaceful by Ann Marquette

You can read this here, but please click this link to visit Jane’s blog directly and make all comments there.  Thank you for stopping by.

http://janefriedman.com/2015/01/19/10-resolutions-saner-internet/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+JaneFriedman+%28Jane+Friedman%29

For me, the hardest thing about being online is remaining focused on creative endeavors important to me. The multiplicity of voices—and the community that you care about—can make you forget your center. You get sucked into other agendas that could be worthy, but are never what you intended to get mixed up in. Sometimes, it’s hard not to play. You love the networks you’re a part of. You want to connect and contribute. You want to pay it forward.

But then it becomes hard to extricate yourself. You react and sometimes let it dictate your schedule. More and more often, you look up and realize that nothing you’ve been doing for the past few hours (or days or weeks!) much related to the underlying purpose you have for your own creative work.

There is so much to do, so much to participate in, so much to respond to—so many opportunities. It is a double-edged sword. Who doesn’t want more opportunities? But when the online community starts writing your to-do list, what happens to your own vision?

I’m not necessarily better at dealing with this than anyone else. I have periods of discipline, and then I don’t. I often gain back my discipline when I have moments away—to allow my own perspective to return. Some of the things I try to do:

• Focus on reading or creative work first thing in the morning, for 3-6 hour stretches.
• Stay off email for 8-12 hour periods—sometimes 24 hours.
• Stay offline after dinner.

Sometimes I feel guilty about these things. What if students, colleagues, or clients need a response quickly? Is it OK to disappear for a full business day? I try to tell myself: Yes. And to also set others’ expectations so I don’t feel guilty.

All of this is a long prelude to 10 resolutions put forth by L.L. Barkat at Tweetspeak Poetry, as part of a movement called “Citizens for a Saner Internet—and Life.” Consider me one such citizen; want to join me?

10 Resolutions from Citizens for a Saner Internet—and Life

1. Consider sharing three beautiful posts for every negative post we feel we must share.
2. Share angry posts only if they significantly contribute to an important conversation.
3. Understand anger as important, a red flag type emotion, that loses its strength if all we ever do is feel angry.
4. Write headlines that are intelligent, witty, or intriguing without exhausting our readers by frequently playing the “outrage card” to get click-throughs.
5. If we feel we want to listen to an angry Internet conversation for what it may be able to teach us about a subject, we resolve to do so silently for a “waiting period,” in a stance of learning rather than one of defense and counterattack.
6. We will not link to attack journalism from our websites, so as not to give more power to the writer or website of said journalism. Related, we will not link to or re-share iterative journalism, which is a sloppy form of journalism designed to deliver a “scoop” that may have no foundation yet in truth.
7. Consider ways to move beyond the “page view model” of Internet sustainability (which is one reason attack or sensationalist journalism is often pursued by individuals and websites, because it can result in high page views, which can translate into staying financially sustainable).
8. Get offline for periods of rest—optimally, one offline day a week and getting offline by a certain cutoff time in the evenings—and use this time to cultivate face-to-face relationships, read, exercise, or otherwise interact with the world around us.
9. If we are unsure about our own angry or sensationalistic post on a subject, we will first pass the post by trusted friends who come from different viewpoints, in a more private setting, before deciding whether to hit the publish button.
10. If we have been online for hours and are finally simply “surfing” because we feel lonely or unfocused, we will get offline and spend time with people face-to-face, read, exercise, play, or delve deeply into a new interest area—one that will seriously challenge us and open up new avenues for our learning and our lives.

Sometimes, anger isn’t as much the issue (for me) as feeling buffeted by the concerns, egos, and ambitions that can be baked into social media interaction—where our moods and attitudes can be influenced who’s following, liking, responding, or connecting … or by who’s getting recognition or not … or by who’s agreeing or participating or not. Getting stuck in that thought pattern is a sure sign you’ve lost focus and probably control over what you’re trying to accomplish.

All that aside: I tend to have a bigger problem dealing with email distractions than social media distractions. Social media is easy to compartmentalize when needed; I’m still working on that with email.

As Laura says at her original post, feel free to take the 10 resolutions above and publish them on your blog. The resolutions are a community thing, and they belong to you if you want them to.

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This I Fear

This is a profound thought provoking sad path to be on 😦

Wordsmith's Desk

This earthly journey can lead through some very dark and seemingly endless forests. So often, the path appears as an endless circle going nowhere…darkness behind and darkness ahead. The screams from within never seem to be heard. I am alone. Is this what it’s like to go insane?

Many have, yet few admit it, the thoughts and feelings above. They offer you a faint smile and send you on your way. They stand next to you in a gathering and give the appearance that all is fine. They are your family, your neighbor, your friend, your boss, your co-worker, etc.

This may sound like a fable to you, but give it some thought. Think about how it was before all the gadgets took our focus off of others. Think about the cost of excluding the personal touch in our relationships. Think about a museum where in this display is a…

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