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Archive for November, 2010

November 15 – An Amazing Day

I planned to finish spreading the rocks on the other half of my little back plot of ground. However, it rained all day and it will be raining all day tomorrow.

Then a special thing happened. I heard Joyce Meyer ask the question “Are you happy with yourself, or trying to be someone else?” As I thought about the answer for me personally I had an ‘Ah ha!’ moment. Then I was inspired to write about it.
When I finished writing I decided to take a break. I went to Barnes & Noble and treated myself to a double chocolate brownie from Starbucks to enjoy while walking around the book store and the music section. I was scoping out all the wonderful new Christmas CDs by some of my favorite artists, then checked out the many Christmas story books.

While enjoying this break I started wondering if there is anything special I could do for someone for Christmas. Then I thought maybe I should write a special Christmas story. Ideas began walking through my brain.

It came to me, that I should write a Christmas Story for Little One (the protagonist in my first book “Little One~End of Journey Alone). I started the second book awhile back and wrote a short story “Little One Learns about Thanksgiving and Christmas” to be part of that story.

I have been on fire today with various writing ideas. I am so grateful for the amazing joy of this day.

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A friend who was sick all week was feeling better and really wanted to get out. We were going to take a walk along a trail behind her apartment complex, but she didn’t feel she could manage the hills. So I suggested we go to our favorite Mall and walk around there where we could stop and sit for a bit if she got tired. She liked that idea. She can’t drive so I picked her up and off we went. We got plenty of slow walking in, stopping occasionally to look around in some of the new stores. The mall and some of the stores simply decorated for Christmas. In the center of the mall they already had the tree and Santa’s place in operation. Children already getting their pictures taken with Santa.

After a few hours we then went up to the Food Court and had a yummy burger from Johnny Rocket’s. Then we headed home, after a really good time out and still getting our exercise.

Today I had to get out back – my little patch of ground inside the fence behind my townhouse. I had already removed most of the plants, painted the fence, and raked the ground. So, today I put down the black fabric to protect from weeds growing. Then it was time to empty the bags of river stones and spread them over the fabric. I finished the rocks on one side. Still have the other side to finish…tomorrow.

I am so grateful for a fun and productive weekend.

Now I am getting teary eyed watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition.

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This was written in 2004.  Not meant to be sad, but a lovely memory.  The artwork is shared with permission of artist Michael Cox.  Thank you my friend.

With permission of the artist Michael Cox

Together

It is cold and desolate in this silent place
All alone in the moonlight

The stars are too far away in time and space
I cry out but no one hears, no one sees me
I’m all alone in the moonlight

I see your face as I see the moon ~
Clear and bright, then veiled by thin wisps of cloud,
And not at all when hidden behind dense clouds,
and then…You appear again clear and bright
For a few brief moments it feels warm and special,
In this silent place
Yet I am still alone in the moonlight.

Somewhere across space and time
We have met very long ago
Long before we found each other
And in this space and time
For a few brief moments,
I was not alone in the moonlight.

A special connection created an everlasting bond
And yet, as quickly we found each other, we had to part.
I am again alone in the moonlight.

©March 2004

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November 12 – Happy Friday

Isn’t it funny…when we don’t even have a job, we still look forward to the weekends.
I do need to find a job in the near future. It is a tough time to look for work, but I will keep looking.

I would love to reinvent myself and find another means of finances, but I have no idea what else I could do. What I love doing does not pay.
I am grateful for my blessings.

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It began very well. I got up and started a bit earlier than usual, which I have been trying to do. Thanks to a friend who gave me a wake up call this morning I made it
After taking care of a few things around the house I went out for a few groceries and stopped to check in on a sick friend.

On the drive to the grocery store I thought about calling Mother to talk. Of course, I couldn’t because she passed away in April. I have been having those thoughts lately and initially they are pleasant thoughts. Then I remember how we were never close and didn’t have a good relationship. As I got older more information from her past made me realize why she was the way she was. It was very sad when she developed Alzheimer’s and eventually had to be placed in an assisted living facility. So many times I think “she deserved a better life.”

Today’s Oprah was a full hour with Marie Osmond talking about her son, Michael. She told what a great person he was; smart, happy, joyful, and full of fun. He cared so much for others. Yet he had difficulty with drugs and depression through many years of his life before he committed suicide this past February. He called her the night before and said he didn’t feel as if he had any friends.
Marie told how she felt during a time of post partum  depression. She believed everyone would be better off without her, but she would realize that was not true.

Our minds and hearts are very fragile. So many people, even those who seem so beautiful, popular, smart, and have it all together have moments of vulnerability. They too can feel unloved, unappreciated, lack self-confidence, and invisible. Most are only fleeting episodes, and some who become depressed can come out of it quickly.

Yet there are so many who hide their depression by acting happy and self-confident, but are really hurting inside. They know most people don’t really want to know if someone is having a bad day, because they are too busy and have their own lives to deal with. So, the hurt and loneliness go unspoken until it becomes too hard to endure. Such a sad place to be, and it is becoming more and more prominent in our society.

So this evening has been deeply internal for me. I can empathize with those who go through this kind of sadness, and my heart hurts for them.

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November 10 – Yippee!

What a great start to this day. A dear friend who used to live only a few doors away, then moved back to Canada called me this morning. We had a great long catchup chat. It was so lovely to hear her voice.
Then a nearby friend who cannot drive and who was really sick yesterday needed a ride to her doctor. One of the blessings of not having a job is being able to help others who need it during the day. Thankfully it was nothing too serious…food poisoning.
Later I got a little more work done out back.
Today the temperature got up to 71…little warmer than normal this time of year. Lovely and sunny.

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Silence

This I wrote in April 2004. I was apparently deeply touched by something…Silence?

Blue Moon

Silence is quiet
It speaks…
Nothing
Emptiness
Solitude
Peace or pain

Silence is loud
It screams…
Volumes
Thoughts unspoken
Real or unreal
Truth or untruth

Silence is not always golden
Silence can be a black hole
Silence may be more painful
Than the words of truth

©April 2004

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It is another lovely day and I am so grateful for all my blessings. I am delighted for all of you who stop by to check in here, whether you comment or not 🙂

I have one project I really need to work on, but I just can’t get myself in the mood for it. Hopefully I will accomplish a couple other things before the end of the day 🙂

More in a contemplative frame of mind today.

I wish you all peace beyond all imaginings.

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November 8

Another grateful day. Thankful for a lovely day, and that I accomplished some of the things on my to do list. My special gratitude today is for the people in my life.

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A lovely day, and an extra hour of sleep.
I enjoyed this quiet and peaceful day, including a walk in the lovely Fall weather.

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