Archive for November, 2010

Well, it is the end of November and all is well. It has been a good month and extra special ending. I am so grateful for the extended local family including me in their Thanksgiving Day dinner, and other family celebrations throughout the year. I’m grateful for all the lovely birthday wishes from so many friends and family. And, of course, I’m thankful for my health, joy, peace, finances to pay the bills and food for nourishment; for the sunshine and the rain; rivers and waterfalls, and oceans; the flowers and trees; for all the amazing experiences of my life.

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I went to my favorite city, a 2 hour drive from where I live, for the weekend. The weather was perfect for me…crisp and sunny.
As usual people were out walking around downtown, along the river which runs through it, the waterfall and the park. Some had their dogs with them as it is a dog friendly downtown…which I love.
There were some who sat outside Starbucks on Main Street enjoying their coffee and visiting with others. I found some new friends there so we visited for awhile. They have an adorable little dog named Pumpkin.
Saturday evening my birthday was celebrated over dinner at some friends’ home, along with their grown daughter, her husband and 5 year old cute and fun little girl who are also my friends.
Yesterday I spent time around downtown taking photos, getting plenty of exercise walking, and just enjoyed BEING…alive, healthy, happy, peaceful.

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The Child in Me

You have awakened
The child in me

She was lost…
She was so lonely

She now looks forward
To each new day
To the excitement of the unknown
To what surprises are around the corner

She can now hug herself
Love herself…
And now…
Really love another

She knows she is precious
In your sight
Your are so very precious to her
And she cherishes you
With all her heart.

April 2004

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November 25 – Thanksgiving Day

What a beautiful day…sunny and mild temperatures.
I had Thanksgiving dinner with friends. There was so much yummy food. I did pretty well. I ate only small portions and stopped before indulging in more. And I only had a small amount of pie.
I was encouraged to be good after weighing in this morning showed I am now 5 lbs lighter…yippee!
I spoke with some family, who live in another state, so that was a gift. I’m so grateful for all the wonderful people in my life.

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The first today was waking up to enjoy another day. I am grateful that I am well, the day was lovely, I have a nice place to live, can pay the bills, eat, exercise, the times I can help others. Thanks to a friend who called this morning to chat. I love hearing her voice.
I am grateful to each of you for stopping by and especially to those of you who leave a comment. I love hearing from you.

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A strangely great weekend considering I “felt” like I was in a slump. And so I was for awhile.

As for many people this can be a bit of a sad time of year for me.
It begins with this being my birthday month, other surrounding events, and my perception of someone else’s attitude about my involvement with their families.
Notice I said “my perception.” I am not going into details, but for the past few years my sensitivity to this potential perception has made me a bit uncertain in their presence.

Since this year’s goal is to transform various parts of myself, I’ve been thinking a lot about this situation. I remember occasions in the past when I was thinking of something totally unrelated and someone else thought I had an issue with them. These are the reasons I believe when we think there is an issue with someone we should discuss it instead of letting it hurt our spirits. Thinking of this I had to smile because most of the time when we think something is wrong, or going to be bad, it’s not.

If another person seems to have an issue with us, maybe it is because we said or did something which they perceived in a negative way when it was not meant that way or for them at all.

How many of us miss out on great relationships because our perception about something did not match reality, and we didn’t ask.

I am so grateful for the time to climb out of a slump and rise up to joy.

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I spent a little time writing this morning. Then I went to buy a few stones to finish the back garden.

Had a great conversation this afternoon with a business contact about an idea he has to help the unemployed think out of the box and find alternative ways to find work. The first part of the process is to know which of our skills/strengths/talents do we enjoy doing most and how can we use those to serve and add value to others. His idea is very interesting, and has me thinking outside the box.

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This weeks Ah Ha moments:
I AM happy with myself and my accomplishments throughout my life. I do not want to be anyone else. I want to be completely who I really am, and a better me.

I have never wanted to be someone else; however, I have been searching for that special PLACE, where I truly FEEL at HOME, where I KNOW it is HOME for me.

Asking God, “What can I do for someone else this Christmas?”
The answer, “Write a Christmas story”
Asking God, “what will I write for the story?”
AND another Ah Ha moment came in the answer “Write Little One’s Christmas story.”

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November 16 – Smell of Autumn

There are lovely colored leaves on the ground from the various trees out front…especially the Maple tree.

I love the Autumn time of year as God’s palette changes the colors, the breeze move the leaves so they can no longer hold on and they drift to the ground. I love the sound the leaves make when we walk through them.

I remember recently hearing or reading about the outdoor smell this time of year.   I didn’t remember experiencing that scent so far this year, nor in recent years past. And then it happened. Today as I walked to the mailbox and back…there it was the smell of Autumn….and my heart smiled.

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I don’t remember ever wanting to be someone else. But, I was always insecure and lacking of self-confidence. Over the years since my early 20’s I have worked at becoming a better person, and different from my mother.

So many children grow up to have many of the same traits and habits of their parents. Even though some parents are not bad people, some of us have seen our parents act in ways we don’t care to emulate. I am one of those.

As I grew older I gradually realized why my mother said and did the things which hurt me. She had things happen to her which affected her deeply. She did not understand herself and could not even admit she acted the way she did to me and my brother.

Thankfully my understanding gave way to forgiveness. My heart went out to her when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, even though we had never grown close. My brother and I eventually had to put her in an Alzheimer’s assisted living home. That was so sad. She really did deserve a better life than she had, and a happier last few years. She passed into Heavenly peace in April this year.

On January 1st this year I made the decision to spend this year working on my own transformation. I want to be the kind of person God wants me to be. I knew I wanted to develop better habits, improve myself physically, mentally, and spiritually. It won’t happen over night, but with daily working on the various changes even at least one of them each day I will get there.

Yesterday (November 15, 2010) I heard Joyce Meyer ask the question “Are you happy with yourself, or trying to be someone else?” It was an AH HA moment for me as I thought about my own personal answer.

There have been many things I’ve not liked about myself. Yet today, as I think of the progress I’ve made over the years and I realize, I do like myself. I’m proud of how far I’ve come over the many years to become a better person, gaining wisdom, and I hope a more loving heart.

I don’t want to be someone else. I just want to be me, who I am meant to be. I am happy with myself ~ and even happier with each accomplishments along the way to a better me.

November 15, 2010

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