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Archive for September, 2010

My Island in the Sky

I looked up
Such a beautiful sight
A huge orange ball
The evening sun
An amazing background
Like a blue ocean
And there it was
Only one long stretch
The white soft fluffy vision
My island in the sky

I could see
Happy people
Prancing unicorns
Fairies and hummingbirds
Butterflies
Puppies and kittens
Flowers and trees
A waterfall and rainbow

Such a beautiful
Happy place
My Island in the Sky

Copyright June 5, 2008

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I Am…Who I Am

I AM…
Who I AM
Through all and because of
All I have done
All I have seen
All I have experienced

I AM…
Who I AM
For what I have said
And did not say
For what I have heard
And not heard

I AM…
Who I AM
Because of all of you
All who have been in my life
Because of all the love
And no love

I AM…
Who I AM
Because God made me
Because God loves me…unconditionally
Because, I AM…
A child of God

Copyright May 29, 2006

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Autumn has always been my favorite season. One Autumn a few years ago was extra special.

The tree colors in the city where I lived were more glorious than I had seen them before.

More wonderful, special people had come into my life…even if briefly. My heart used to hurt so much, when people who came into my life, and I would have liked to keep them there, but they would go out again; not for any bad reason, just life.

As I think about these special souls who come in and out of my life, I realize something magical about some of them. They have had unstable or life-threatening sad beginnings to their lives. Yet they and God knew they needed to be in this world of ours. They are living proof of miracles, and strength, goodness and love. These souls create moments of magic in other people’s lives…they have in mine. I think of them as elusive Unicorns who pass through my life reminding me that I have a loving heart. And even though my heart breaks when they leave, I know another will come along to fill that empty space even for a little while.

Maybe it was that Autumn when I learned to be at peace with letting people come in and out of my life as they needed or wanted. This time of year seems to be a beautiful time for Letting Go, to allow myself to become A Blank Slate in order to allow for healing and new beginnings.

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Being Connected

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A story a few years ago about being connected got me thinking. These are my thoughts, observations, and feelings about being connected.

When I was a child in Michigan people came and went in each others homes. Neighbors knew each other, spent time with each other, kept an eye on each others children and it was acceptable to discipline someone else’s child. These days there are rare places where people feel safe leaving their doors unlocked. Most parents don’t want their children corrected by someone else even if it means their safety. Neighbors rarely even know each others names let alone have any conversation or socializing,

Many people, maybe even most, have built up walls, invisible boundaries around themselves even within their friendships. Some people are open to their friends just dropping by to say hello, maybe have a cup of coffee and chat, but those friends never have the time, or more likely don’t take the time for such visits. Everyone is too busy with busy stuff these days to truly nurture their relationships with family and friends. Now people are wrapped up in their own worlds. Mind you, I am not talking about people who I know have REALLY busy lives, especially if they have lots of children. The other problem is, we get so tired and stressed with things we have to deal with in this life that we relish quiet down time.

So, how do we connect at all these days? Who do we connect with…and why? I read a piece where the author talked about connecting, being “connected.” He talked about the human need to be connected, even if only through the internet! I am going to say “Oh yes.”

Isn’t it interesting that I use the word “talk” when referring to an editor’s article about being connected? But isn’t that what it’s about? Connecting is a conversation between people…whether it is speaking with your mouth, or via the written words.

For many people, the internet – emails, instant messaging, blogs, and tweets are the main sources for shut-ins, lonely singles (old and young), people who just want to “be connected” somehow. It is also huge among those who are married. Many parents connect with other parents about issues with children, finances, entertainment, house remodeling, cooking, etc. The list goes on and on.

I can only truly speak for myself here, my thoughts and feelings about the desire to be connected.

I love to socialize, to communicate with others, to be connected. However, I am also joyful in drawing wonderful people into my life, and having the ability to let go of anyone who is negative, who has any tendency to make me feel less than joyful. I have been truly blessed, especially in the last few years to have many joyful spirits come into my life…whether temporarily or on a more permanent basis.

The greatest joy of each city I have lived in during my life, so far, are the relationships I’ve made. Even though I don’t live in those cities any longer, the friendships have held. Some of the communications may be scattered throughout the year, and a few may only be at Christmas and birthdays with updates on our lives…but they remain true.

Thank God for those who created the internet, for email, which allows friends, family, and acquaintances to keep in touch and up-to-date with each other.

My computer does not shout “you’ve got mail,” but you can be sure I love the sound it does make when one arrives in my IN box. Sad part of this is that we communicate with our nearby friends more by email that getting up off our behinds and walking down the street, or take a drive to meet each other someplace to have a face to face conversation. Yet, at least through the technology of our cell phones and computers it helps us to feel we are not alone. I think that is why so many people are constantly on their cell phones, so they can feel connected.

I found a small city in South Carolina, which is a perfect day trip from where I live, and not only does it have a beautiful small town feel to its downtown area, with a river running through it and a park at the river below the falls, but it has the consistently friendliest people to strangers I have ever met. It is a place I can go to walk, sit by the river and its little water fall, stop to visit a few friends I’ve made, get a coffee or bite to eat, be at peace and whether in conversation with someone or not I feel connected.

The greatest constant unconditional connection I do have is my relationship with God. He is always there to listen and he connects with me all day, everyday, through a variety of ways…the refreshing raindrops that touch me when it rains, the sun warming me and giving me light, a smile from someone, the sound of the birds singing, a waterfall, and so much more.

Being connected is important to all of us…may you all be blessed with an open heart, to being truly connected.

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A Blank Slate

I give it all to you, Lord Jesus
This mind
This soul
This heart
The spirit within
I am letting go

Letting it all go
All the muddled thoughts
All the mixed emotions
All the confused feelings
Too much, too many
Have scarred the very essence
Of this being

I give to you
This empty vessel
This blank slate
For you to make it new
For you to fill it up
Fill it to overflowing
With Your goodness
Your grace
Your light
Your love

Write what you will
On this blank slate
That is me
Waiting to be cleansed
And renewed
With Your Spirit, Lord Jesus

Copyright October 24, 2008

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This from Josh Groban inspires me…
When I feel confused or depressed, I remember back to junior high and I silently repeat, “This, too, shall pass.” Because I know that life is a journey I must accept and that pain and confusion are temporary. I know that if I follow my heart, it will lead me where I belong.

A potential financial sand pit could once again invade my life! I started a temporary full time job in early May 2007 with the belief that it would become permanent if the woman on maternity decided not to return to work. Because of business economics it was possible they would make the position part-time (which would not support me), or they would cut the position completely. They decided to delete the position.

It would have been very easy to get stressed, concerned, fearful.
No, this time I believed with all my heart that God has something truly wonderful for me. God has surprised me with some amazing things, people, and situations in my life…which I would never have dreamed of. I thought that it may not be exactly what I wanted for myself, but then it might be even better than my dreams.

My dreams include/included relocating to a wonderful city only 2 hours from where I currently live, and where I go for day trips whenever I can. It is a place where I feel endless possibilities – creatively and socially. It is the friendliest city I have ever experienced. I want to spend my time writing, getting inspired, writing some more. I continue to believe, I believe, I believe in the best is yet to come.

And so, I wondered…

• What next
• Where do I go from here…where does God want me
• I wonder – IS my writing, my stories, my poetry good enough to be published by a real publishing house, are they good enough…am I good enough to find an agent (a great agent).
• What is the reason for me to write…can my writings really help, encourage, entertain, inspire others….or is it just for my own ego

Since then I have had other job assignments, one was over 15 months. The most recent ended a few weeks ago. Agencies, other business contacts and I are looking again for work.

I continue to “walk with Jesus” through all my life, to “know” that when one door closes another opens and that God always has something better for us.

I remind myself that God has surprised me with amazing surprises in my life, things I never dreamt of, and I feel the excitement of whatever surprise God has next in store for me. I know that although I cannot see how my dreams can come true, God can move mountains, he can cause all things to work for the good, and he can change hearts.

So, no matter what is going on in your life…be brave, courageous, and at peace.

August 15, 2007

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Today, Sunday September 12th has been a quiet day filled with writing, connecting with other writers, reading the work of another author, and contemplating.

Recently I have been thinking about people from my past and have been looking for them to find out how they are and where their life has taken them.
Last week I connected with a guy I knew when I was a senior in high school and he took me to my senior prom. It was lovely to find him through facebook, happily married with children and enjoying his retirement.

Today I received a friend request from someone I thought I didn’t know. I asked how she found me and more about her. Turns out she is someone I worked with five years ago, someone I really liked. It is lovely that we are now connected again and catching up.

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Dear God,
 
I believe You are my Heavenly Father who loves, and cares, and provides for me. I believe Your Holy Spirit lives in me and I in You. I believe Your son  Jesus is always with me, guiding, protecting, and inspiring me.

 I believe it is time to tell the true story about the spiritual experience You blessed me with in 1991, as I am thinking about it now.

 I was in my bedroom writing.  I don’t remember what it was or if it was to someone, but I do remember a man I had recently met came to mind. 

 As I sat at the beautiful old desk that was in my room and writing, all of a sudden I felt something happen to me that was truly miraculous.  It was so powerful that I had to hold on to the desk with both hands.  Tears fell like a waterfall down my face for the amazing beauty of it.

 This feeling was like someone from above was pouring liquid love in through the top of my head, and filled me up to overflowing, through every part of my body, and spilled out through every pore.  It was the most beautiful loving feeling I have ever experienced. 

Several times after that when I thought of that person, I experienced the strength and beauty of that loving feeling again.  I also realized that it made me feel more loving toward others, including my mother.  Many times I felt very conflicted about why that would happen when thinking of someone I did not want to think about.  I finally accepted that it wasn’t a feeling for that person, but may have been the catalyst to allow the Holy Spirit to fill me up with that feeling of the power of God’s love. 

 I think of this today as I have recently been feeling an amazing sense of joyful expectation within my spirit.  It is a sense within my being of something special You, my Heavenly Father, have in store for me as Your Holy Spirit guides me on the path You want for me.

 I believe I have been pruned, and gifted with Your blessings that I may share my life, my gifts, and love with others.

 I believe there will be a new place, new people, new experiences that will inspire and encourage me on a new journey.

 I believe the new journey You have planned for me is about to begin.

 I believe that my walk with Jesus is about to take me where I cannot even imagine for myself.

 I now also believe in me, myself.
I now also believe in my spirit, my dreams.
I believe in You God.  I believe that I can do all with You, because I believe.

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Just Lovely

Another beautiful day of sunshine
Another lovely moonlit night

I feel like fine aged wine
Beside my loving Knight

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God’s Gift

I love this gift God has blessed me with later in my life.  It all began while living in Ireland.  I don’t remember which of these came first, and not sure it matters.

 One day I started writing the story of my life!  Of course, I don’t think I was going to write it for anyone else to read it.  Anyway, after struggling with it and feeling the pain of some of the memories I decided not to go on.  I wasn’t sure of the point of it anyway.  Hummmmm!  Why would anyone want to read it.

 I read the book “The Neverending Story” by Michael Ende  and it is my favorite story to this day.  The book is so much better than the movies.  I read it five times within a couple months and each time noticed something new.  In addition to the amazing details I love the many underlying positive messages.

 I read the information about Michael Ende.  He wrote it for children, but it became so popular with all ages that it was published in many languages and reprinted several times.  I thought “what an amazing legacy to leave behind.”  I began to think about my life and not only did I have no children, but had not done anything of value with my life.

 One morning, after my then husband left for work, a story began filling up my brain to overflowing.  I had to sit down with pen and paper, and wrote all day.  I couldn’t stop.  My imagination took me to other places, different ways the story could be told other than as a published book.  At that time I don’t think I actually imagined it would ever be published.  Another great gift was the day, several years later, when I held my published book in my hands.

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